Episode 43 - Jason Kreidman

Jason Kreidman (00:00):
Oh, no, I'm in the delivery room and I know nothing about a baby. A lot of people on YouTube are right on the brink of having their child or they just found out they are pregnant. Yeah. Well, you know, men, men have a tendency to search for help after it's too late

Young Han (00:24):
Hey guys, I'm young, a full-time dad and a full-time professional with the goal to become the best parent possible. The girl dad show is my journey interviewing fellow working parents aspiring to be both good at work and parenting. I'm gonna do this by gathering and sharing unfiltered perspective. My guest to join me as I research parenthood one interview at a time.

Young Han (00:46):
Jason, thank you so much for joining me on the girl dad show today.

Jason Kreidman (00:50):
Hey, it's good to be here.

Young Han (00:52):
I'm excited to talk to you.

Jason Kreidman (00:53):
Yeah, I know. I know we've been talking back and forth via electronic email and everything else, but yeah, it's good to finally talk with you.

Young Han (01:00):
It is. Yeah. I can't wait to unpack everything that you're working on. So let's just jump right into it. Why don't you tell the listeners what you do?

Jason Kreidman (01:05):
So dad university, I started a couple years ago you know, in the beginnings it was just a podcast and me learning how to be a dad and how to help, you know, anyone I can. And as it evolved, as I became more experienced, as I, you know, learned more, talked with more people, I decided to do video and that, you know, just broadened my audience and, and who was listening and then also created a course and, and now have multiple courses and creating a membership. And so there's all kinds of activities going on, but the gist of dad university is to just help dads go from sort of chaos and confused to a confident parent.

Young Han (01:48):
Awesome. And I'm so excited to talk to you about it, but I want to know first and foremost, why did you start it? Like, what was that, what was that driving factor that made you go, I need to do this.

Jason Kreidman (01:57):
It was my own pain. My kids were maybe one and three. My mother had passed away and she was a huge influence in my life. And also she was an author and seminar speaker in personal relationships. So I, I grew up in sort of this self-help environment. You can call it yeah. Where we'd sort of analyze and talk about emotions and such and I, and I had great parents but I found myself not really knowing how to parent and my wife had suggested a parenting class that was offered through my son's preschool. And she went through it and you know, my first reaction is like, I'm not going to a parenting class. Like I had great parents, like why, you know, I'm good. Yeah. Meanwhile, you know, we are arguing, I'm stressed out. I don't know how to deal with the kids. You know, I, I had no experience with children and, you know, I just was kind of navigating it. Like anybody else just doing what you think is the best. If you had horrible parents and you did what they didn't do. And if you had great parents, you're like, well, what did my parents do in this situation? You know? So I just, I started just sort of evolving and, and that was it. It was like kind of for my own pain and looking at my own journey and saying, it's gotta be better than this. Yeah know, like, I love my kids, but I'm not enjoying this, you know, I'm stressing out. I'm not knowing how to handle situations and I just needed it, something to change.

Young Han (03:31):
So it was really personal. It's like, Hey, you're doing this for yourself. And then that ended up becoming your business.

Jason Kreidman (03:36):
Yeah. Yeah. Very, very personal. And I just went on a journey of I say, I call it healing, but you know, yeah. I was healing from my mother's passing for sure. Going through grief counseling and that, and I just, I kind of started with the idea of being able to help myself and then if I can help people as I learn. Yeah. You know, that's gonna be the journey. So I try to stick with what I've experienced and what I've known. I get, I get a lot of questions about things I have no idea about. Yeah. you know, if you, you know, kind of proclaim yourself as an expert, people think you're an expert at everything and by no means, am I an expert at everything I'm only an expert at what I've gone through and even then it can be questionable.

Young Han (04:17):
Yeah. No, that's awesome. And that's kind of how you actually explain the product as well, too, right? Like what, you're, what you're delivering. Like you're just basically sharing your data experience.

Jason Kreidman (04:27):
Yeah. Especially all the courses too. So I, I, I make a lot of videos. I have hundreds of YouTube videos and that's kind of where my success has, you know, been the most. And, and so I, and from those I've created courses and it's all of the topics and the information that I wish I had. Right. that, that I've learned and gone through and such. And so, yeah, it's taking input from myself and my own experience to others that I've talked with and, you know, hundreds of podcast episodes as well. Yeah. And yeah, it's, it's, you know, collectively have similar problems,

Young Han (05:03):
You know, it's so crazy that you yeah. That you fell upon this and you have such a a quantity of content out there, because I think that the reality is is that you still have such a great business opportunity to tackle even more market. Because like, I will say that the shared, I think the shared feedback that I get from most dads is that there's not enough for dad specifically.

Jason Kreidman (05:24):
Well, and I'm, and I'm a search expert by, you know, my career. And so, you know, when I started looking and saying, I, I don't think there's a lot of dads looking for this stuff. But the dads who are really looking, hopefully they're finding me. Yeah. You know? And, and so, you know, that I do at that, if, you know, if we certainly go into the business aspect, I look at what are people searching for? What are the questions that people have in combination with what is the information that I want to teach, or I want to, you know, get out there. But what I wanna get out there is not always what people find interesting.

Young Han (06:00):
Yeah. You know? Yeah. But I also think that there's something stereotypical about dads that don't necessarily want to search for that or ask for help. Right. Like, that's, that's kind of, I guess the point I'm trying to say is that, like, I never even knew to search for it. I mean, if, but now that I'm talking to you in this position that I'm in right now interviewing you, I'm like probably could have used the help and probably even just the community of it. Right.

Jason Kreidman (06:21):
Yeah. Well, you know, men, men have a tendency to search for help after it's too late. Yeah. That's the best way, you know? Yeah. Hey, I'm on the verge of divorce. Maybe I should look into marriage counsel. Yeah, yeah. You know, or, Hey, my tooth hurts now I'll go to the dentist. You know, it's not, you know, people aren't doing, especially men are not doing preventative you know, activities. And so, you know, same thing with their children. A lot of people on YouTube are right on the brink of having their child or they just found out they are pregnant. So it's sort of, you know, in the chaos mode, a lot of 'em, it's not, Hey, you know, we're having trouble eating, you know, at, at toddler at, at dinner time, maybe I could go to YouTube and find some tips like that is happening. But the quantity of that is so much lower yeah. Then, oh no, I'm in the delivery room and I know nothing about a baby, I get a lot of that.

Young Han (07:20):
That's very interesting. And then I mean, I'm gonna jump a little bit here, but you, you alluded to your mom being in kind of the therapy and kind of emotional understanding of yourself space. Yeah. What about your father? Were there, was he an entrepreneur?

Jason Kreidman (07:36):
My father worked as a computer sales guy for 20 something years. Probably even more than that, and then ended up, so when I got out of graduate school, I ended up going and working with my mother. So at, you know, I date myself now, but like 97 I was building websites and doing e-commerce and such. And so yeah, it was great times back then. And so I learned internet marketing, you know, 25 years ago. Yeah. And so was looking at search engine optimization, all of that back then. And so my, you know, my mother's business, I can say I was even involved in that when I was a kid. I mean, I was, I would come home from school, put her like cassette tapes and flyers in envelopes and then, you know, staple 'em together. And then she'd pay me a quarter for, you know, each one that I put together. I was her fulfillment center.

Young Han (08:31):

Jason Kreidman (08:32):
Cuz she was doing, you know, television and radio infomercials. She was the best, you know, New York times bestselling author. So she very, very successful all in the world of relationships. And I just yeah, I mean, so that was kind of my intro into, you know, call it seeking, you know, or looking to improve things,

Young Han (08:53):
But also entrepreneurship. It sounds like

Jason Kreidman (08:56):
Oh yeah, she was a big time entrepreneur versus, you know yeah. My dad had the stable job. You know, computer job for forever. Yeah. But where I was going was I got involved in her business and then after years of me then going out and doing things on my own, my father stepped in, he retired from his job and then stepped in and took over that business.

Young Han (09:15):
Whoa, wait, so your dad took over your mom's business.

Jason Kreidman (09:19):
Yeah. I mean basically cuz so my mother was ill for a long time. And so, you know, her capabilities of like going out and doing speaking was very, very limited and so she battled cancer for 20 something year, you know, off and on and yeah. You know, such, and so my father, in addition to being a caretaker was, you know, Hey, I gotta fulfill this, send out books, you know, answer phone calls, do consultations. I mean, my, my father was good at it too. Yeah. And so he ran that for quite a ways and until he developed dementia, we're still dealing with that now. Yeah. and, and so he, he, for many, many years took over the business and was running that and you know, it, it just kind of scaled back. Yeah. He was just making sure things were being done. They weren't growing in any way and, and I knew I wanted to break out and so I ended up doing my own things at that point. So pretty entrepreneur life. I mean that my entire career has been entrepreneurial. So

Young Han (10:19):
Yeah. When it's also fun that you started your entrepreneurial career doing search engine optimization and marketing, especially if you're talking about early two thousands. Cause I mean, that's like, that's like

Jason Kreidman (10:30):
We're talking late 1990s.

Young Han (10:32):
Late 1990s. Yeah. Cause I'm almost positive. Like I think I bought my first commercial like accessible wifi router in 98. Right. I think that's like when it was like first available, it was like $400 or $500.

Jason Kreidman (10:43):
Oh, well like a T one line. Yeah. I mean, yeah. We were still dealing with dialup, yeah. I would look at, you know, Netscape and the thing would take forever to load. Yeah. Yeah. Sit there for a while.

Young Han (10:55):
Oh my gosh. It's amazing how the landscape has changed tremendously. I'm assuming. Right. Like just based on the fact that you've kind of been working at this from the from the, beginning

Jason Kreidman (11:05):
Are you talking about with optimization?

Young Han (11:06):

Jason Kreidman (11:08):
Well here's, what's funny. Yeah, it really hasn't!

Young Han (11:10):
Oh gosh. That is really funny.

Jason Kreidman (11:12):
I mean there, there are tips and tricks that we used to do that, of course aren't, you know, aren't able, you're not able to do that anymore. It's it has certainly become harder and harder and harder to optimize things. But back then the whole thing was content is king, you know, and that is still the same today. I mean, people searching for the content. It has to be good content you know, keyword nuances, link building, you know, you're the social validity and domain authority. Like there's all these things, but for the most part, it it's still fundamentally the same. Yeah. It's like, you know, you gotta put out good quality. Yeah. You know, we were able to put out, you know, bad quality for a while, but you know, you've, you've gotta sort of know what you're doing,

Young Han (11:57):
You know? Yeah. That's awesome. That's kind of that's kind of good and bad to hear actually like, so then so then you're basically coupling your personal goals and you're kind of stage in life and then you kind of mirror, it sounds like you kind of mirrored your, your mom's journey a little bit to a certain degree and kind of making it your own. Yeah.

Jason Kreidman (12:17):
I, you know, I, I have always been entrepreneurial. I was doing internet marketing and you know, I enjoy it. Right. I stumbled upon this dad world and, and, and really what it was, was an outlet at first. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't, it's a therapy.

Young Han (12:30):
I didn't think of this

Jason Kreidman (12:31):
As, yeah. I didn't think of this as a business or that I was going to be able to supplement income or anything. Yeah. I just really, you know what I could help dads and, and the part I kind of missed a little bit was I was going through grief counseling for my mother's passing and it was an all men's grief group. Hmm. And the, the leader of that group, Jim, who is just the most wonderful man convinced me, because I had this idea of talking with other dads. He said, why don't you just set up a group and talk with other dads?

Young Han (13:04):

Jason Kreidman (13:04):
And so I've had him on my podcast and he was really instrumental in sort of convincing me that maybe there is something where I could help other dads cus I said, you know, gosh, I've learned, so lunch going through this process. He said, well, why don't you just set up a meetup group or something? And so that's kind of how the whole thing started. Wow. Was I set up a local meetup group for dads and I would have, you know, one dad show up, I'd have 10 dads show up and then I'd have zero dads show up. I mean, you know, and I'd just stuck with it. And, and then yeah, and I just, I, for me, it was great and I enjoyed it. I even like at one point got a sponsor, like the, the person who was giving us an office space, like also gave us a food allowance and you know, I was just, I was having a good time helping these guys and helping myself. Yeah. You know, and being able to kind of come to this group root therapy and I, it was just guys talking confidentially and yeah, that was, that was the impetus for it. And then it evolved and just kept going.

Young Han (14:05):
So do, do you remember the exact moment that like it turned into a business or was it just gradual organic?

Jason Kreidman (14:11):
It was, it was very gradual. I, I mean, I'd say it's still gradual because I'm evolving thing this all the time. I mean, it's, you know, you know, when I started like bringing in revenue from YouTube videos, I was like, whoa. Like I just got a check. Like I, I did not expect, you know, it was like a $50 check or something, which I thought, you know, in the beginning I'm like, wow, people are watching this, you know? And so that evolved. And then, you know, I start getting inquiries for sponsors and stuff, which I've, I've been very, very hesitant. The revenue, a lot of it has been from my course you know, I've done some sponsorships and then now I'm, I'm, I'm embarking on a membership. And so that's really where I think the business will go kind of to the next level. And, and I've just been buried in that for, for a while now.

Young Han (14:59):
Oh, developing, developing this new product, developing it

Jason Kreidman (15:02):
And we had sort of talked offline about having help and assistance and yeah. I've, you know, I've been looking for that and it's just, it's very hard to do it, everything on your own.

Young Han (15:11):
It really is. So, and then we, and we can continue that conversation cause I was actually really curious about it. But I wanted to get recording, you know, so, but yeah. How are you thinking about this business then? So are you like thinking about it as like, you need to figure out a way to start, is, are you in the awkward phase where you need to start outsourcing some of the work because you can't do it all yourself and like, just like the, the workload has gotten big or your, your goals are bigger or,

Jason Kreidman (15:34):
Yeah. I don't know if I think of it like that. I, I think for me the way that I can articulate it is like for me, this is a 15 year plan.

Young Han (15:42):
Oh, interesting.

Jason Kreidman (15:43):
I, I think of this business as building my legacy. That's really what this is for me is, you know, how am I gonna impact the world? And in what way, you know, can I do that? And how big can I do that? Love it. If I happen to make money along the way. That's awesome. Yeah. it has never been the goal since the beginning and I've always wanted to maintain that. That's the goal. So I've always been hesitant about sponsors and things and kind of the integrity of what I'm doing. But you know, sponsors and money and that kind of thing can help bring this to more people. So yeah, that's, that's kind of been, the thing is I've looked at this as maybe a 15 year plan you know, with not an exit or anything, but just, this is going for me to build up this like sort of, you know, arsenal of content and, you know, in doing that and that's through videos and courses and, you know, eventually if we get back to live events or speaking and doing things, there's a lot of different things that I can do. But it's just reaching as many people as possible and bringing them into some kind of community as really the goal, if I can figure out that, what is the goal? You know, it's kind of, it'd be really cool to, you know, have thousands of people say I'm part of dad, university. Yeah. Whatever that means, you know Whether they are a member or they have either they're on my email or they're subscribed or, you know, whatever that is, they they're part of the university. And so that's, that's kind of, that's the goal.

Young Han (17:19):
That's awesome. I also like that you've clearly outlined that it sounds like you're a very, very astute entrepreneur because I think that that's the key thing to being successful as an entrepreneur is like really figuring out the end in mind is, and being very, very specific about that. The second thing I love about the goal is that it has almost nothing to do with money. So anything that you make from it is just a nice to have. And I've also heard from a lot of people that, you know, that's, that's really, really important because if you don't articulate like, Hey, what is the amount that you're looking for, then you're never gonna think that it's enough. Like there's like this an emotional thing. Right. that's really, really cool.

Jason Kreidman (17:55):
Yeah, I, I mean, I've been successful as a consultant and I, you know, I still maintain a couple consulting clients, which, you know, essentially, I could always do that. Right. You know, but when you spend, you know, 80 to 75% of your time on something that isn't supporting you, you know, now it's getting where it it's coming in, but for so long, it just, there was nothing. Yeah. You know, and I, I was working late nights and, and, and it didn't matter though, because when, you know, as, you know, as an entrepreneur, if you're not passionate about it, it's, it doesn't feel like work when you're passionate, you know? Yeah. And my wife is very supportive. My children are supportive. And so, you know, having that around me is you know, everyone sort of loves that I'm doing this, if you will, it's, you know, it's, it's for the better, good of society. So you know, I love marketing, but, you know, give, you know, helping a company make the, of millions of dollars is great. It's not the same thing as getting one email from some guy that, you know, the, the video impacted his life. And now he's spending more time with his child. Yeah. Like it, it just doesn't, it doesn't even equal.

Young Han (19:02):
Tell me about your kids actually. So you have, you said you had two, right. With two years apart. I think, I think you said that earlier.

Jason Kreidman (19:07):
Yeah. I have two. I have 11 year old daughter and a 13 year old son, you know, and I'll, I'll say the caveat is I keep them off of, you know, it, it's internet cuz I've been criticized a little bit with you know, well, why don't you show your kids? And, and, and I actually did one interview with my, my son and one with my daughter on my podcast, you know, many, many years ago. But for privacy, see, and, and, and everything else that I, you know, sort of, I have some pretty strong beliefs in, in that until they make those decisions on their own, I just, I've kind of left them out of the the spotlight, if you will. And so, you know, they've kind of been in the background and same with my wife and it's like, you know, that's, that's their deal. And so, yeah, it's been, it's been interesting to navigate that too is, you know, being a strong father figure and a you know, and call it an influencer without showing your children.

Young Han (20:04):
Yeah. And then, and then is that more just to like, make sure that you're not sharing what, you know, what they might not want to be shared as they're, you know, they can articulate that yet cause they're younger or ?

Jason Kreidman (20:14):
Yeah, well it's a combination of many things. Yeah. I'm, you know, I I've done a topic called Sharington or, you know, oversharing I think I'm saying it right with parent parenting and sharing and basically, you know, I just don't believe in a lot of what the platforms are for and what they do for people and how they do it. I think there are some great use cases, but there's a lot of negative that can come with that. And so whether it is privacy, whether it is I just not concerned with people, seeing my kids score a soccer goal, you know, it's just like, I, you know, maybe my family and a lot of people do that. They share it with their family and share it with, you know, but yeah. I mean, if, you know, if it's really, really important, then I share it with my two sisters, my dad and his wife, like that's yeah. that's, that's about the extent of me sharing pictures with people and, and, and experiences if you will, of, of my life.

Young Han (21:22):
Yeah. That's so interesting. Especially as someone that's like literally creating content in the space yeah. That I can see. That's a, an interesting polarity that you get from

Jason Kreidman (21:30):
Someone. Yeah. I got pretty strong views on it. It's it? The, the social it, hasn't created a tremendous amount of value personally, you know, certainly business wise. So I'm, I'm hesitant to see the value too much. Yeah. You know, or maybe there's more negative than

Young Han (21:45):
Positive. Yeah. But I, I think that it's even beyond just the, like the, the pros and cons of it, it sounds like you've already made up your mind what you want to do and not want to do. 

Jason Kreidman (21:52):
I mean, yeah, for, for other people, I, you know, I'm not criticizing, it's like that's everyone gets to do what they wanna do. And so, you know, but just for me and my family, that's, my decision

Young Han (22:00):
That's been case, can I ask what your kids think that you do for a living? Have you talked to them about it

Jason Kreidman (22:06):
Yeah. No, they, they are very clear about it. I mean, they they've, like I said, you know, they've been coming on the podcast once or twice. They really appreciate it, you know, the idea that I'm helping other people you know, they love that I have subscribers on Youtube. You have 50,000 dad, you know? I mean, they used to come to me and say like, you know, well, how many are you at? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Know how many subscribers do you have? You know, because the people that they're watching have millions. Yeah. but yeah, no, they, they appreciate it. I think, you know, or at least I would hope they appreciate more of the content of it and my ability to you know, practice what I preach. Right. You know, that that's the biggest thing and, and you know, parenting perfect. Yeah. You know, it happens, the stuff happens all the time where, you know, I even get called out on stuff where my kids will, will say something, be like, Hey dad, that's not what you, you know, that's not what you were saying, you know? And so, and they'll call me out on it. So their emotional intelligence is pretty high, you know, being submersed in this stuff you know, you, even for their age

Young Han (23:10):
That's awesome. That's really cool. And it sounds like you have a really good conversation with them about the work that you do. And, and do they understand like, that you also do consulting for SEO and also do this? Like, do they understand that the, the time split

Jason Kreidman (23:24):
Yeah, maybe you know, I don't talk too much about it, you know, if they have questions and such I'll answer her, but yeah. I mean, you know, they, they know that if they're looking for something that I can help a company yeah. I can help a company do it, but I think more so is the, is the dad university stuff? They you know, they're, they, they asked, okay, okay, Hey, can I get a shirt or, you know, can I get a hat or something? I mean, they, you know, they're proud of it, they're they? They, they like the fact that

Young Han (23:51):
They do. Yeah, that's great. So I think I got a good gist of like how you're thinking about, you know, success in your dad university business and, and how you're wanting to grow that and how you qualify success. Have you put much thought in to like what you think good parenting is and what success looks like for you as a, as a dad?

Jason Kreidman (24:09):
Yeah. I've, I've probably put a lot of thought into it. It's yeah, I, I, I think the first thing I would say is, you know, success is different for everybody, you know, and, and what it is that you find successful, you know, for some, and it, but it is important to know what the goal is. Like you said, just in business pay, parenting's the same thing. Like, you know, do I want my children to call me when they're older and wanna have lunch, you know? Do I want them to be contributing members of society and be, you know, nice to people. You know, what I think has evolved and changed is my desires for the them have changed. Whereas like maybe before I had kids, or even when I was, you know, just had kids, it was kind of about success, I mean, that, or like the word success was in it, whereas now, like, I really just want my children to be happy like that that's, you know, that is it like, that is the number one thing, and they are not happy. You try to figure out ways to, you know, support them and so that they can, you know, navigate through it. And so it it's just about coaching them. I, I talk about being a coach a lot to your parent, to your kids. Yeah. Rather than being a, you know, a parent. So yeah, I mean, I think about success a lot and what that looks like, and it's, you know, it's having a a very loving, communicative relationship with them where they feel safe and they feel secure to talk with you. You know, and in the end, like I said, it's, you know, when they're older, they're gonna call me up to go out to lunch or, you know, for me to watch their kids. Yeah. You know, they're gonna want me around that's, that's the OME of success. I think that's the key. I mean, it is it's, you know, cuz you, I, I see it all the time in too many families where, you know, the younger let's say adults and, and their older parents, they like, they don't care to have them around because the parents are critical or, you know, the parents you know, it has argue with their, or like whatever that is, you know, I've been very, very lucky with both my set of parents and my wife's parents to have, you know, loving, loving people around us. So, you know, from that aspect, I I've been very, very fortunate. But I can see that that happens where there's just some kind of tension or, you know, you've, there's still stuff from childhood that is still comes out and, you know, you don't, you don't want it around. And I, I even going through my course when I was initially starting and a couple of the guys, even, you know, we was talking about going to their parents' house was one of the worst things.

Young Han (26:44):
Oh, wow. Yeah.

Jason Kreidman (26:45):
Like they didn't wanna bring their kids over there. Yeah. And I would never want my kids to feel that way, you know? No, at the same time, that's not trying to be like their best friend and spoiling them and right, right. Anything else, but it's just having that, that sort of loving you really good relationship with them. And you know, hopefully we're on the way to that,

Young Han (27:08):
You know? Yeah. I think that's a really good barometer of success. And I, I think that it's actually very, very clever and very specific. And I think that you, it's a really good thing to strive for. I, I love how like, like in tune you are with like all these things that I think most dads don't talk about, but they like feel, but then when you say it, it's like, oh yeah, I totally have that said to it. 

Jason Kreidman (27:29):
Well, my mother was like that with relationships, you know? I mean she made things simple, like, and, and everything she wrote and spoke about was like, well, of Course, you know, like, yeah, like, no, duh, but we don't practice it. And we don't, you know, we don't do the things that we need to do. And so that's where the, you know, the action I can talk all, you know, all day long, but it's really about the action. Like what are you actually doing? Entrepreneurs are the same way. Lots of people talk about entrepreneurship, oh, I'm gonna do this and I've done. Or, you know, I'm gonna, I'm thinking about this. And, but until you actually do it and take action and, and you're in the, the, a dirt, like you're not an entrepreneur, you know? And it's, it's the same thing. Even with, you know, quote, being a good parent, a lot of people will talk about it. They'll think about, but like, unless you're actively making that effort, like,

Young Han (28:19):
You know, you're not doing it. Yeah. It's kinda hard. I love that. I love that you brought it back to entrepreneurship as well, too. Cause it's like so true, it is. And it's easy for me to talk about that when I talk about entrepreneurship, it's a lot harder for me to talk about that with parenting. Right. But it, it's actually very, very similar because it's, it's kind of like a lot of the parallels are similar, like right. You have to like go into something that you don't know, the outcome of. You have to take a lot of risk. You have to put yourself out there. It's very, very, a vulnerable position.

Jason Kreidman (28:47):
You have to prioritize,

Young Han (28:48):
Prioritize. Exactly. Yeah.

Jason Kreidman (28:50):
You know, it becomes about our time and where do we wanna spend our effort? And, you know, and everyone makes excuses or people are like, oh, well, you know, I just don't have the time. Well, no, it's not. You do have the time. You just haven't made it a priority. Yeah. You know, because you certainly found times to wa you know, time to watch Netflix. So, you know, it's about, you know, what are you making a priority? And if it's not a priority fine, but don't kid yourself and complain about it, you know, just be honest about it.

Young Han (29:16):
You're like tough love. I love it. You're just like, you're just like a straight shooter. You're calling people out. I love it. Yeah.

Jason Kreidman (29:21):
I mean, it's, I hear a lot of BS, you know, I, and here's the thing is, I think in most cases, the BS though, they don't even know that it's like, you know, when you're not aware you know, you don't know that or understand that you're complaining about something that is easily fixing. Yeah. You know, and I, I can thank my wife for that. You know, I was pro I'm a recovering complainer. And you know, my wife was the one who cuz she was a nurse and she would be like, and even if I got hurt or if she's like, okay, wait, so can we do something about it? Like stop complaining about your foot, put some ice on it and don't deal it, it, you know, like, yeah. Like, and so I think she was very instrument and helping me understand, like to take action about something instead of complaining about it

Young Han (30:05):
Wow, I love that. I love that your nurse wife was the performance coach that you needed to like

Jason Kreidman (30:09):
Oh, she's yeah. Cause, well, she doesn't complain about it. That's

Young Han (30:12):
Amazing. So

Jason Kreidman (30:13):
It's, it's she just, she either takes the action or doesn't say it so,

Young Han (30:17):
Wow. She, maybe she should start a business. That sounds like she mindset

Jason Kreidman (30:21):
Said that she should, she could easily be a performance or motivational person, but she's she doesn't

Young Han (30:25):
Have an interest. Oh man. That's awesome. That's actually even more awesome that she she's so good at it and she has no interest in it. That's actually really great. sounds good. Well, Jason, let me switch gears a little bit and I want to ask make sure I ask all my guests the same questions. So there's some symmetry to these conversations, but let me let try in here. So what advice do you have for other parents and soon to be parents?

Jason Kreidman (30:47):
You know, well, I mean, if I have to just give one or something quick, I can do that. I, I, I think one of the topics that comes up always for me is empathy. Nice. And I didn't know what empathy was until I really, you know, well, one when I got married, I started to understand it and then it wasn't until I had kid that I really understood it. And it's really putting yourself in the other person's place and looking at it from their perspective and also feeling what they're feeling. And so, you know, that goes at the story I often will tell is, you know, your four year old can't find their shoes and they are devastated that they can't find their shoes. Well, to us, we're like just find another pair of shoes. Like it's not that big of a deal, but for the four year old, it is a big deal. Like it's, it's, you know, it's devastating that they favorite pair of shoes and they can't find it. So learning empathy and putting yourself in the place of the four year old or putting yourself in the place of your spouse, you don't have to agree with what is going on. But you ha you know, at least looking at it and saying, well, I can see how they are upset or I can see how they it's affecting them in that way. And, and since I've done that relationships completely change. I mean, with friends and family and, and everything just being empathetic is a, like the most important relational tool that I can.

Young Han (32:09):
It's really great advice. I mean, I have this it's, I'm not by any means good at it, but I do have this thing. I think it's very similar. It's very similar to what you're saying. It's like, it, it it's, it's not that it's not important. It's important to me because it's important to you. Right. So that's kind of a mental, like, yeah. My values and mindset are very different than yours, but because you're important to me I'm gonna treat it as important. Cause it seems like it's important to you. Yeah.

Jason Kreidman (32:33):
I mean, think about how many times we do it with our spouse or our kids or whatever, where like they get upset at something you're like, Hey, it's not that big of a deal. Like, don't worry about it. And you know, we minimize their emotion and, and instead saying, you know what, I'm sorry that you're going through that or that that's really affecting, like, I don't have to agree with it. I don't think it's gonna, But you're not saying that, you know, you're, and, but you are saying that when you minimize it and then instead, you know, and that's, that's happened a lot with just interacting with people.

Young Han (33:04):
Like yeah. It's very Sage advice. Yeah. I love it. If you can go back and tell yourself one thing before having kids, what would you go back and tell yourself be

Jason Kreidman (33:12):
More empathetic?

Young Han (33:14):
That's awesome. That's a perfect answer

Jason Kreidman (33:16):
Actually. Well, yeah, that's one, but I, I might also say one, I just learned this from Mel Robbins, the speaker, I said, you know, what, if it all works out a lot of anxiety, I had a lot of anxiety, a lot of worry. And she had this phrase, you know, what, if it all works out.

Young Han (33:33):
Yeah. That's a really great way of looking at it. Oh, that's brilliant.

Jason Kreidman (33:36):
I wish I thought of that, but it was hers

Young Han (33:38):
Because you're gonna constantly, you, you can constantly sit, sit there and scrape all the different recesses of your brain about why things couldn't work, but you could also flip that exact same paradigm to find all the ways that it could work. It's awesome. Yeah. Very, very settling. I like that. What's the most surprising thing that you learned about yourself after becoming a parent?

Jason Kreidman (33:56):
Not being perfect is okay. I think I grew up with this notion of like, having to be perfect in so many ways of like, trying to be the perfect son. I mean, I, I had a lot of anxiety in my twenties because, you know, I had to be successful. I had to be a great, you know, son. I had to be a great brother. I had to be all these great boyfriend. And as all, as a result of all of that, there was so much pressure that I was putting on self. And then I was looking at it, you know, I I'd done an obviously a lot of analysis of like, why was I thinking that like what, because people would like me more because I would then be, you know, make more money. Like, so I had to like go through all of that. And I think making mistakes is okay, you know, and that none of us are perfect. We never are going to be you learn from 'em. So I think if I could tell myself that it was kind of like, Hey, stop trying to be quote perfect in a way, because when you're not, you're so devastated by it. And instead of just saying, okay, like I made a mistake, let's, let's move on. You know, and that's what I'm trying to teach to my kids in the sense that like, mistakes are okay. Yeah. You know, and that starts like from a spilled milk, like you don't yell at your kid, you say, okay, Hey, let's, let's clean that up. Let's see what could we have done differently? And, and you learn from it.

Young Han (35:15):
Do you, do you feel like, do you feel like that pressure was expectation and pressure was kind of like self, self inflicted because of the,  Cause I mean, I would just. . . 

Jason Kreidman (35:25):
Yeah, no, it's, I mean, I'm in an environment. I, you know, I, I look back at it because, you know, because my mother was successful and so I was thinking, okay, well, did my parents put this pressure on me? And like, but no, it all comes from within. And unfortunately I have seen it in my own children where, you know, feeling this pressure to do well, but meanwhile, like that's not coming from me

Young Han (35:47):
Yeah. You have no expectations. You just want them to be, like

Jason Kreidman (35:49):
We say nothing. Like even my kids' grades, I say nothing about their grades. I, I don't, if they tell me that they get grades like, well, so how did you feel about that? Like, I don't praise. I don't get negative. I don't nothing. It's not about me. You know? I said, how do you feel? Are you happy with that? Is that something you wanna work on? Or are you ha you know, is that but yet there's this internal pressure about it. So like, I had to look at that as well for myself and say, well, it isn't just, it could be just DNA. Yeah.

Young Han (36:19):
Yeah. Nature versus nurture and some things are nature. Yeah, exactly.

Jason Kreidman (36:22):
Yeah. So I try real hard for some of the areas where I had anxiety. I try real hard to switch it up for my children so that they don't have to go through

Young Han (36:33):
They, yeah. And I'm a little bit like taking a mental note here, not in little, I'm actually taking mental note here. Cause I like that idea about the grades and saying, well, how do you feel about that? That's actually really interesting because then you're really just guide. You're just being a guide. You're not actually the authoritarian, you're not the decision maker. You're, you're their happiness. Isn't predicated on what I think it's actually like, Hey, let's figure out what happiness looks like for you. Based on this. I

Jason Kreidman (36:55):
Have a lot of discussion about that and videos and core and stuff. I mean, that's a whole podcast in itself about saying the words like you're proud, I'm proud of you. Like, no, I mean, you know, the, they want to know obviously that you love them, but your Love's unconditional to them. Like, I don't care whether my children get an a or a D it has nothing to do with how I love them now, will that affect what their able to do? Well that's. Yeah, but that's affecting them. That's not a reflection of me in that sense that, you know, I can't believe you did this and I, you know, I'm so disappointed in you. And like, that's just, that's just not how I want to raise my children. And so for them, it's about what is it that they want? Like, what do you want? Like, you know, I say this with the caveat that both of my children are doing well, they are, you know, nice kids they're doing well in school. They, you know, for the most part, it's like, so I don't know, you know, if they were doing horribly, would I be as, you know, open to that, I'd like to think that I would, but but they've, you know, they've done things where like, they play a sport and they're just really not that astute at it. And it's like, okay, well, that's not your thing. You know, do you want to keep playing or do you wanna try something different? Like, instead of like, you need to practice every day and you need to get, you know, like it's just not yeah. I mean, my job is to be their coach, not their, you know, not

Young Han (38:20):
Their boss. Oh man. I love that. It's like completely turning everything around for me. I'm gonna have to go check out that podcast that you, or you said you're gonna do a podcast or you already have content for it.

Jason Kreidman (38:29):
No, I've done. I've done a lot on sort of expectations. And you know, don't say that you're proud and you know, the external behavior and the, or the external praise. I mean, it's what social media's caused so much chaos is

Young Han (38:42):
Like the validation need yeah. 

Jason Kreidman (38:44):
A 13 year old, you know? Yeah. I mean a 13 year old who has repeatedly been told that they're beautiful and wonderful and all the external things, and then all of a sudden, you know, post something and doesn't get any feedback from it and it's devastated or gets negative comments, like there's zero resiliency. Yeah. And so there there's a lot of issues with all that

Young Han (39:08):
Yeah. Wild. So do you have an all time favorite book or business book it's usually business book in your case, I'm kind of like alluding to any kind of book, because I feel like you're really focused on kind of a lot of different things right now.

Jason Kreidman (39:21):
I'll have to say my mother's, but yeah, hers, hers was light her fire.

Young Han (39:26):
Her book called light her fire.

Jason Kreidman (39:29):
Light her, well, yeah, light her fires for the men. And then she wrote the one for the women called light his fire and wow. To tons of gems in there. I mean, just as far as their interpersonal relationships and you know, some of it is a little outdated obviously, cause it was written some time ago. There's some technological differences, but for the most part fundamentally, it, it it's just nuggets.

Young Han (39:52):
I can't wait to check it out. I'm definitely gonna read that. That's awesome. And then when you're not building a out this community for dads and being a super dad yourself what does Jason do for fun? What do you do for your downtime?

Jason Kreidman (40:05):
Lots of exercise. I I'm a, a weightlifter as well as yoga as kind of my two hot, hot yoga as kind of my two, two things that I do, although I am in the middle of training for something right now, which I don't know how much I can go into, well, I mean, I can go into it, but it's basically an event where some friends and I get together and we do quite, quite the day. It's called the day of madness. We, we surf in the morning, we then do the half marathon. We then go skiing and then play 18 holes of golf and then last, and then last time we also went bowling and that's all within a day.

Young Han (40:42):
How is that even possible?

Jason Kreidman (40:44):
Cause we live in Southern California, so we're able to surf drive two hours, go to ski. It it's quite a coordination effort and we've done it twice already. And this is the third one coming up. I just, I'm gonna knock on some wood to stay healthy. I'm running right now and I couldn't enjoy running. And so wait,

Young Han (41:02):
So are you starting at like four in the morning and then ending at like 5?

Jason Kreidman (41:07):
Yeah. You start at like five in the morning. We do we, we surf where the, the, the surf is right next to where the marathon starts, the half marathon starts. So we actually surf. Yeah. Yeah. We get out change. We have some area that we're all, you know, it's, it's a logistic, like, you know, amazement, like I actually video had it documented the last time we did it. It's a, it's on my personal channel, which nobody knows of. But I can send it to you. Yeah. It's a, it's a, we, we have a, we have a whole video.

Young Han (41:37):
Just for family and friends. Right? Like that's the one that's like, yeah.

Jason Kreidman (41:41):
What, what hap, well, a lot of people have like come around wanting to do it, but what happens is you know, we start out with a little bit more than we think, and then, you know, we're older guys now we're all dads and like in our forties and, and so and even older, a few of 'em and, and you start, the body starts wearing you know, the body doesn't laugh. I, I go, I do cryotherapy and leg compression and I do that on, you know, so I do some other things to try to heal myself, but yeah, so I'm really into diet fitness exercise. Nice. That's, that's probably my, my thing

Young Han (42:13):
Sounds like you're really into it. Actually. You may wanna even start a whole other thing for that, like dad, university fitness, you know, and diet, you know. Yeah. You

Jason Kreidman (42:21):
Know, there's, there's some guys doing a great job with that. I don't know that I would go into that. I kind of I, I just, I do more of the mental aspect. I, but yeah. I mean, for me, it's definitely a huge asset that I have of staying healthy, being able to do. I just recently kicked caffeine too. I have just a small amount in the more like, which is, I dunno if you're familiar with mud water,

Young Han (42:44):
I get their ads a lot. They're promoting like crazy. Yeah.

Jason Kreidman (42:48):
They're doing a great job. It's a great product. I, I will say. So I just do the mud water in the morning, which is an alternative. But I was, I was taking a lot of caffeine for a long time and I, and I'm off of it. So, you know, having a good diet exercising and sort of taking care of yourself, it's, it's, it's how I have the energy to be doing this, you know, and, and staying, you know, I've had multiple assistants who are, you know, half my age who are like, how do you work so hard? You know, how do you keep doing this at this pace? And I mean, to me, that's what it is. It's

Young Han (43:21):
Taking care of myself. Yeah. Balancing it out with the mental health, physical health. And

Jason Kreidman (43:25):
Yeah, I won't talk about my knee hurting and my foot hurting.

Young Han (43:28):
Well, I've noticed that too. Now it's not even about like repairing things. It's just like maintaining what I have, you know, it's just like constant maintenance, you know, like you just lose,

Jason Kreidman (43:37):
Well, even like with weight, like with weight, I don't lift like the heavy, like I used to, and, and now doing yoga is so much better and I meditate and such. And so, you know, yeah. 

Young Han (43:49):
The maintenance. Yeah. You're just protecting what you have at this point. I mean, I mean, for me anyways, it sounds like you're still, you're still growing and building, but I'm definitely like, I can definitely the change after I turn 40, I'm like, oh, I'm not getting much stronger. Like, I, I just need to like, keep what I have, you know, it's just,

Jason Kreidman (44:05):
Yeah. And also, I mean, and we didn't talk about too, but it's also, you know, the, the, the other things in life that people do. I mean, it's, you know, alcohol, drugs and stuff, and, and, and I just, I've been able to kind of stay away from the majority of that. You know, I drank on occasion and now it's, I mean, it's a rare occasion that I will have alcohol and that's a big part of it too. It's, you know, for me, I don't know if it's for everybody, but I realize that, you know, it doesn't help with anxiety and depression. <Laugh> people, people think that it does and it helps mask it, but it actually just makes it worse. And so, you know, I was a weekend warrior, you know, Hey, we're having drinks and do it. And I just realized, like that was bringing me down to yeah. You know? So for, for some people that they're great and it's fine, it's their, it's their thing. But I found for me, it definitely affected my emotional stuff.

Young Han (44:50):
Yeah. You're so like, thoughtful about your status, like your, your, like your state of mind and your state of body. Like you're very introspective. It sounds like.

Jason Kreidman (44:57):
Yeah. No, I, I do, I, I, I can be self critical about it too. As much as you know, I concentrate on all these things. I, I think you also have to be able to enjoy yourself. Yeah. You have to be able to relax a little bit. And, and sometimes that's difficult for me. I can be honest it's you know, feeling like you're constantly having to go and do and accomplish, and that's some of the problems that I had had where I'm trying to do less of that and, and, and, and do that. So, yeah. I mean, it's great. And, and, but oftentimes it looks so much better on paper than in reality, you know, we could have that conversation to it's. I stress out, I get anxious, I, you know, got, get down, you know, I'd say the difference now is I get over it quicker. I, you know, having the tools mental, physical, spiritual sort of things I can get through those things fast, but I still experience them. You know, that's maybe

Young Han (45:55):
The difference. Yeah. I mean, I, I'm gonna go check out your dad university, cuz like almost everything you said today is like literally speaking to me at the core, like I feel like you're, you're, you're talking about things that I've, I've felt and I've known, but I just like have never taken the time to actually like speak out loud or articulate and sounds like really silly to say that that's

Jason Kreidman (46:13):
Not silly at all. I think, I think that's the whole purpose of what I do is I think as men, you know, we, we don't, we don't talk about it. We may think a little bit about it, but we also have to make it acceptable, you know? And, and it's, it's the same thing with like how they've made mental health, like having a mental health issue is now accepted. You know, it's like help, let's see what we can do and you know, parenting's not easy. It's like I stress, I get anxious, I get angry. I get, you know, so how do we talk about these things so that we can do them better or avoid the pain that comes with them? And so, yeah, I, I think part of it is just recognizing that and I was, I think I was just for, I wish I would've known earlier in life about all this stuff. But yeah, I just, you know, I, I, I make effort, you know, that's maybe the thing it's, I, I, I make effort and you know try to try to help people along the

Young Han (47:10):
Way's no cause and a noble mission. I, I, I hope that I can help in my, and in my small way of helping you in your, in your cost. Yeah. Yeah.

Jason Kreidman (47:17):
You are for sure. No, the podcast is great. It's, you know, that kind of input and talking with other dads and such it's, it's great. I mean, I think we need more of that. We need more of it in the community. We need more of it, you know, as a greater, you know, the greater community

Young Han (47:31):
As well. Awesome. Well with that, Jason, I'm gonna bid you well here. Thank you so much for being on my show. It was a wonderful conversation and I can't wait to stay in touch and check out the dad university as well. Thank you again.

Speaker 5 (47:41):
Yeah. Well thank you for having me. It was good.

Young Han (47:44):
Yeah, it was great. Talk to you soon.

Young Han (47:46):
Thanks for tuning into another episode of the girl to at show. We really hope you enjoyed that interview. And as always, please take a moment to review, rate and subscribe. We'll see you next time.

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