Episode 27 - Young's B-Day Episode - Young's Bday Episode

Young Han (00:00:01):
Meetings. Hey guys, I'm young, a full-time dad and a full-time professional with the goal to become the best parent possible. The girl dad show is my journey interviewing fellow working parents aspiring to be both good at work and parenting my to do this by gathering and sharing unfiltered perspectives from my guest to join me as I research parenthood one interview at a time, I'm gonna go straight to live a few minutes early. If you don't mind, let's do it. Yeah. And then we can, get going.

Jacob Beemer (00:00:33):
Yeah, go ahead. What's my first question yeah. Is about, about coffee. And I'm wondering if you, now that I know how busy you are, how many businesses you started in your 40th year of life? I guess first of all, happy birthday.

Young Han (00:00:49):
Thank you. I appreciate that.

Jacob Beemer (00:00:51):
How do you limit yourself to a number of shots per day? Do you just go until your stomach hurts? Like what's your deal with caffeine? Are you so stimulant tolerant? 

Young Han (00:01:01):
It doesn't matter. Yeah. I'm pretty, I'm pretty caffeine tolerant. I I definitely drink a lot of coffee yeah, I I love coffee and I did that whole 23 and me thing a couple years ago. When it first was like the hot wave you know, everyone did it, but an interesting report came out that like I'm genetically you know I have a higher, what is it called tolerance for caffeine. And so I'm those people that can drink caffeine and then go to sleep right afterwards. But I do enjoy the, the energy boost and the mental clarity and, and I do love the flavor and taste. I mean, gosh, I love coffee so much. It's just hard for me because there's like so much research that says, you know, like consuming too much is bad for you

Jacob Beemer (00:01:44):
So you don't like cut it off at like three o'clock or anything like that. You just, you don't pay attention at all. You're like, I can have a coffee at 8:00 PM and still fall asleep.

Young Han (00:01:52):
Yeah. I mean, it, it definitely will take, it'll be harder to fall asleep, you know, if I take it at eight, if I drink it at 8:00 PM, but yeah. Yes, I can still like fall asleep, but I also, I mean, yeah, I'm always kind of running on a constant state of tiredness yeah. I don't think people realize how little I sleep. I, I basically went through the dad mode of like, not sleeping. You know, you just kind of like expand your plate, you know, because you're you just like, your body is like, required to like, stay up with your kid for so much and you don't end up sleeping and then I don't know. I ever kind of went back to sleeping again, so I, I sleep like, I don't know, maybe like five, you know, on average, like five to six hours a night. Okay. Yeah. I don't really I, I guess that's a lot to some people, but I think I've heard that's really unhealthy. You're supposed to sleep like eight or nine.

Jacob Beemer (00:02:38):
Something like that. Ideally. Yeah. I, I, I can't function on a small amount of sleep. I, I, the diminishing return is quite high. Yeah. I, I found my ceiling with caffeine in the last three months. I've, you know, been a dad for three months. And I was leaning heavily on black coffee, which is obviously super caffeinated and I actually started to get really bad stomach aches, and just, just had to be like, okay. I went, I switched to just espresso more controlled. And I tried to just do four to five shots and stop at like one or two o'clock in the afternoon.

Young Han (00:03:12):
Yeah. It's the acid man. There's a lot of acid and coffee. Yeah. And it's it it's you know, the caffeine itself is like a deterrent that was like made to like deter animals from consuming it. And here we are like, you know, consuming like, like a delicacy almost, right. Like trying to draw the finer points of its flavor notes. It's just hilarious if you think about how it, even how it even came to be, but yeah, it does a number on your body, you know, and it has a lot of acid in it, so it messes up your stomach pretty bad. And like, if it just, it's just bad for you. Like if in, in, in large amounts, right. I think a couple of days. Good. But any more than that, like it has studies have shown that it's not good for you long term, but I can't stop it. Like, like I love it. I love it so much. I love the taste of it. It, I love the way it makes me feel. I love like everything about it. I love the social aspect of getting coffee. Like,

Jacob Beemer (00:04:04):
Were you already there in your love for it, like in your days where you spent at Phil's coffee, like, were you already there with your love or did it just like explode working there?

Young Han (00:04:16):
Yeah, I definitely loved coffee even like early as, as Starbucks days. I mean they had a, they had a pretty cool program where I mean, it's not as prolific now and I don't think they they're even trying to like really promote it, but they had this thing where they were trying to be like coffee con sores. And they launched this black apron program where you had one or two people that had a black apron. Right. And basically you should be able to ask this person anything about coffee and they should be able to answer it from farming to agricultural practices, to roasting, to distribution, to, you know, to cupping, to brewing all that stuff, the whole nine yards. And wow, it's like this kind of like this upleveling of coffee knowledge. And they, it lasted for a couple of years. I mean, I think there's still some black aprons out there, but it's definitely not as, not as prevalent as, as it used to be, but I was like one of the first people that signed up for that program and I worked at Starbucks and you went through this grueling training and it was really fun. It was really fun. So you got to learn a ton about coffee. And my clinic claimed to fame is that like, I can taste pretty well. So like, I can taste coffee and at least tell you if it's a blend or like at least the, the originating that it's from, not country, sorry, continent, not country. I'm not that good, but I can tell you kind of like, is it like, is it an African coffee or is it a south American coffee or is it an that's impressive? I couldn't do that. Yeah. So I can taste coffee and kind of tell you like the region which is kind of fun, which is kind of a cool little party trick. Right. That's

Jacob Beemer (00:05:39):
Very cool. Yeah. That's very, that's very, very cool. Where were you in your career? Cause I was scrolling through your LinkedIn. And I was wondering, when did you become a dad? Like where in your career, if you're talking about your LinkedIn, where were you? Like, were you a dad at Phil's coffee at that point?

Young Han (00:05:58):
No. Yeah, no, no. I was that's a really great question. I think I was a dad. Oh. I was a dad at limelight health.

Jacob Beemer (00:06:05):
Okay. And that was how many years ago?

Young Han (00:06:08):
Gosh, I don't know. I'd have to open up my LinkedIn to see, but I'm like nervous about messing up the LinkedIn time settings. so I'm not gonna do it. I can look it up on my phone. Linkedin, let me look it up on my phone and see I could do it this way. This is like LinkedIn live, please fix some of your administrative settings cuz this is, this is like wonky. We've already messed this up so many times. And I guess technically we could start now too, or I guess we kind of already have started. Right Jacob?

Jacob Beemer (00:06:37):
 I mean, yeah. I mean we're, we're in it, we're in it. I didn't know if you wanted to do a proper intro or if you just, we wanted to just, you know, Joe Rogan this and just start talking, I think just start talking.

Young Han (00:06:44):
Yeah. I think we're totally fine with just kind of going into it. So limelight health was 2016. Okay. And I think I had Lil 2017, actually. I don't think I know cuz her birthday was in 2017. So yeah, so I was a year and a half into limelight before I had my first kid. Okay. Which was an insurance technology software company.

Jacob Beemer (00:07:15):
And you're someone that doesn't seem like you're on motivation or get up and go or hustle. I'm my first kind of line of questioning is I'm wondering if you think back to when you didn't have children, when you didn't have kids like did your motivation grow, did it expand with the existence of children or was it just like, I'm a super motivat person. Like I have drive, I have hustle. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm an investor. Did it change at all or? Yeah, it did. It exploded. How did it change? It exploded.

Jacob Beemer (00:07:50):
Yeah Instantly or does it like a slow build for me?

Young Han (00:07:51):
It was instant. I didn't even expect it like I yeah, this is a little bit personal and I guess I'm kind of remiss even sharing this, but no, I, no, it's okay. I'll do like, cuz I, I'm not really one to like kind of not be transparent, especially with this kind of new era that I'm trying to turn this chapter in my life. I used to be a smoker and I know that's very taboo and it was very hard for me to quit. I was having such a hard time quitting and I tried six times and I would make jokes that, you know, you know, mama never raised a quitter. And so that's why I couldn't quit and yada yada yada and all this dumb stuff. The day Lilly was born, I quit. It wasn't even an issue like, wow, I had no problems quitting at all. Like I haven't smoked a cigarette since. And it was, it's like crazy because I've tried for, I guess over almost two decades to quit. And I had some tokens since I was a young kid, so you know, very long time. And it was even a, it wasn't even a challenge. I just like quit I don't know. It just like the motivation, like sparked this huge fire in me to just be the best dad I could be. And I just wanted to be the best human being and the best dad and the best role model that I could be for my kid. And it like exploded my desire to succeed and, and do something more and, and build. And I don't know. I don't know if, if that's like normal, what, you know, normal or not. But I, I think for me, like I was already fairly entrepreneurial and fairly aggressive as it relates to like building things or creating businesses or taking risks to do something bigger, you know, bigger and better or yada yada yada. And when I had kids when I, when I, that desire to, to, to grow that even groove even more, which is probably not normal, I don't think, but for me, for me, that's what happened.

Jacob Beemer (00:09:44):
So then that by follow up was gonna be like, when you look back at these past 22 episodes of the show yeah. Do you feel that that's common that it's like this flip of a switch? No. For dad dads specifically? No.

Young Han (00:09:58):
Yeah. I don't actually I think like, I think that's why I keep making the comment that I don't think it's normal because I'm only going off the experiential data that I have of doing, you know, two dozen shows now and kind of interviewing actually I've already interviewed like 30 plus parents, but the show's a little bit behind me. Right. So I've interviewed quite a few more parents than you've seen, but and, and I try to find people that are, you know, striving for success and striving for something greater, right. I'm not looking to interview just normal parents. I'm looking for parents that are really struggling to grow something in their career and also trying to be really good at parenting. And so it's hard to find the right, you know, guests and, but it's unique in the fact that I'm looking for those people that are trying to build and I say that I have found over the course of the last 30 or so interviews that most people actually go to the opposite side where they actually try to like really figure out their work life balance, you know, like reprioritize their life. And like structured into a diversified pie. it's really fascinating to see how people grow up to say, you know, because now they're responsible for another life and how they want to exude that, you know, behavior to their kid. And so I've actually found the exact opposite. I found that most parents you know, lean towards like, Hey, this next business that I'm gonna start, I'm gonna make sure I do it with my kid, you know, and Inc it in this. And this is gonna be the part where I have a heart boundaries and, and they they basically like segment it and do a better job of incorporating balance. 

Jacob Beemer (00:11:26):
Yeah. Isn't that interesting. So that it is, it is very interesting. Yeah. Speaking personally, I find that I feel just, again, three months into this whole thing. Yeah. I find that I feel a lot more content and happy. Mm. Like just I don't know how to really stretch that out more than I just feel content with my life. I definitely empathize with what you're feeling about like, you know, three months ago I held this human for the first time that I had been staring at grow for nine months inside my partner. And I'm somebody that like, I always wanna be doing the next thing or onto the next thing or doing this, or I'm not happy until I get this or this, I need to set this goal. Yeah. Run this marathon and do this, whatever. And now with her, I'm just kind of like, man, I don't do I want anything else in life anymore? Like I just wanna hold her and stare at her, but I'm expecting that to burn off a little bit and like, I do feel this, like I need to provide for this human being. Yeah. And, and hustle. But I don't wanna say it's made me lazy, but I just feel so happy with where I am in life. Yeah. Even though I'm nowhere near what I wanted to achieve when I became a father, I did not achieve all of those things. Not even close. Yeah. But now, now I'm kind of like, well, it'll happen or it's not gonna happen. I'm really happy either way.

Young Han (00:12:52):
Which is, yeah. Do you think that content is from just having the kid and like the fact that like, you, you just have this new love that you never realized you could have <laugh> or is it because you, you, you just feel more comfortable with what you've accomplished or where is that coming from?

Jacob Beemer (00:13:06):
Yeah, that's a great question. I think the first, the latter would be how I I'm still figuring it out to be honest with you, this, this is a new, a new kind of feeling for me, but also just kind of recognizing through my partner as well. Like it's good to be grateful and content because I will not, I will not be as effective as a father if I'm just unhappy or just pushing or feeling like I need to just come constantly be building something or like, oh my God, how am I gonna pay for her college if I don't do this? Or don't do that? Like, yeah. That for me, for me personally, like it just puts me in this spiral of like being mad because I'm constantly chasing something else. You know, I guess personal growth is what I need to work on there.

Young Han (00:13:57):
Yeah. And I think it's like a balance of figuring out like what you want for yourself and then what you want for your kid. And then how you want your kid to grow up. Right. And so, yeah. Very quickly I started to realize that it's, it's not as simple as you may think it is. Right. Because the nature nurture thing is really the core crux of the podcast, that's really what the, the basis of the podcast is. 

Jacob Beemer (00:14:25):
Absolutely. I agree.

Young Han (00:14:26):
Yeah. yeah. I mean, I'm, I, I just like kind of knew that going into it and I didn't really articulate it, like, you know, as part of the questioning, but that's the reality of why I even started the podcast. Right. It's like, what's the balance between nature and nurture, because if it is nurture, then I can talk to my kids and teach them, you know, what I, what I want them to have as value props or ambitions or character things, or, you know, I don't know, just that I could, I could teach them those things. Right. And then there's certain things though, that I realized very quickly after, you know, Lilly was two years old that she's listening to everything and she's watching everything and she's mimicking everything I do and what I don't do. So if I'm not working, she's also watching me not work. And so, and then I read this I heard listen to this podcast with Tim Grover. He's like the coach for Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan. Like he's like the coach for the top athletes in the world. Right. And he was saying something on a podcast that really resonated with me about like, you know, I actually want my kids to grow up knowing that they have to work hard for what they want. And so I don't feel bad about, you know, my daughter saying, Hey dad, can you please just hang out with me, please hang out with me and saying, no, I need to be a winner. I need to be excellent. I need to be the best at what I do. So I'm gonna leave you to go do this because I need you to understand that that's sometimes very important to sacrifice things to get what you want to accomplish something great. And I, I I'm like totally butchering a saying and I, and I, and you know, there's a lot of like controversy around that statement. Right. And I think it's not the nicest thing to say societally, cause if your kid's going, please, dad, hang out with me, please, dad, hang out with me. But it did resonate with me in the sense that like, even what you say no to is communicating and in passing knowledge and culture and values to your kids. Right. And so I, I have to like, can incorporate a lot of that into my thought process. And so I started this podcast to like really interview other people and how they were balancing that because it's not one or the other, it's both, it's super complex. It's what you say to them, what you don't say to them, what you do with them, what you don't do with them. I mean, you are, you are imprinting, you are imprinting yourself, whether you want to, or not onto them. Yeah. And it's such a huge responsibility in my opinion, you know? So yeah.

Jacob Beemer (00:16:37):
So we're kind of jumping around here, but this segues really well to are you familiar with the show on Netflix? By V called explained you, have you seen that? I've seen a couple episodes. Yeah, so there's a, there's a new one running it's called the mind explained, and there's an episode on personality. Mm. And they spend a little bit of time on the episode talking about children and the effect parenting parents have on their children. How much is personality, hard, coded and how much of it is influenced by the parents. And some of the recent studies that have come out have actually shown that what a kid ends up doing, or, you know, whether or not they're addicted to drugs and, you know, an artist starving artist or a lawyer that makes money, but doesn't find their job fulfilling. All that stuff is actually largely determined by their peer groups when they're in their teens, kind of when they start to, oh, when they start to go off into the world, away from their parents, make, build friendships, peer groups, social groups all of those things that's largely influential on where they end up in their twenties and thirties. Yeah. Which I thought was really interesting. We just watched this episode yesterday and I was like, wow. So much of this parenting thing is like leading by example and like helping them have the tools to like have good friends and community and oh my God.

Young Han (00:17:56):
That's so awesome. That's so insightful. You know, what's wild about that statement is that the re the, the most recent revelation that I had at 40 freaking years old. Right. So this isn't, like this, isn't like complex knowledge. It's really basic. My mom has been actually telling me this since I was like 14. Right. But like, it's just like learned and ingrained in me like this year. And it's like that, that adage of like, you are who you hang out with, or like, you know, you're the average of the five people hang out the most, or, you know, there's like a million ways of saying the saying, right. But like, it's literally what you just said. And, and it's like, I've like, I've always like listened to or say it. And I've always like listened to other people say it. And then this year I've really just realized it's not even just teenagers. It's actually adults. It's all humans. Our brains are malleable. We're so malleable. Like right now, like this year, I'm really heart set on being a real estate investor. I wanna learn how to do real estate, cuz my goal is to basically real estate full time in, in a couple of years and, and just do that full time. Right. I also want to be wealthy, like not rich, I wanna be wealthy. Like I want to generate passive income and, and have multiple businesses and, and, and income streams and, and all of this stuff seems like an idea or something that you read about on, or watch on TikTok or you read about on, on, you know, a blog or some sort of influencer talking about it. But the reality is there are people out there doing it. and what I've actively done this year is intentionally look for those people and just literally ask them, Hey, I wanna be you in five years. Can I hang out with you? Or can you be my best friend? And I will promise you, I will provide value to you in five years cause I will get there. Awesome. And I will tell you, 95% of the people that I've asked have said that is the weirdest and creepiest thing I've ever heard in my life. absolutely not. But I've had at least four or five people say yes. And so now I'm hanging out with four or five people that have passive income that have multiple income streams that are, are doing real estate investing full time. And, and just being around them. It's insanity. Like even within a year, my mind is like, my mindset is changing. Like I'm, I'm thinking about the world differently. I'm thinking about taxes differently. I'm thinking about money differently. Like the decisions I make are changing. The possibilities are changing just from hanging out with people that are doing what I want to do. So

Jacob Beemer (00:20:10):
Then how do we as dads take this concept that we understand on a relatively mature level yeah. And package that up so that a child has an understanding of it to some level. I think that's, to me, I'm like, wow, this is so valuable. Like I basically have 13 years to get her to understand how important this concept is. So important. Cause like, like when I was 13, I think I just, by luck, I think met the right friends and met the right people, moved to California and kind of like my peer groups have always been pretty decent, but without me recognizing that it's having a massive influence on my life. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> it was just like, I chose to do these ex career moves and you know, activities which led to great company and people mm-hmm <affirmative> how do, how do we get our kids to understand this? Well before it's I don't want it to be too late. Oh crap. She's 16. Her friends are horrible and you know, all she wants to do is TikTok all day.

Young Han (00:21:10):
I don't know. Yeah. I I'm like so nervous about that as well. Because as, as, as you know, Sage and as like insightful as what I just said was the reality is I'm like, I'm like, you know, terrible at communicating this to my kids. I mean like the reality is like I wake up every morning and I apologize to the world at large for my second daughter. Right. I'm like, I just, I preemptively apologize to the world. Cause I know I'm I know I'm raising a world class B, right? Like, like I literally cannot say, no, I literally cannot say no to her. Like I know I'm supposed to say no. And I can't like, I like, she she'll like push two or three times and then she'll gimme those puppy eyes, she'll start doing fake tears. And I just like melt and I give in and I'm like, yes. You know, donuts for breakfast. Sound like a good idea. You're absolutely right. It is my idea, not yours. Like I just am such a pushover with the second one. I just cannot control it. And I don't have the, the wherewithal, the discipline and the rigor, like to hold it accountable, but I can pretty good with my first, but my second one grace, like why is it different?

Jacob Beemer (00:22:14):
I don't know. Is it different?

Young Han (00:22:16):
I'm she to figure that out? She's they're both really cute, but the, the second one is definitely much more of a daddy's girl. Like she, yeah. She like PS to, to me, she like wants the cuddle and like she it just, I don't know, man, it's terrible. And I feel really, I'm like even embarrassed, like being this transparent about about it because I feel like it's not really nice, but you know,

Jacob Beemer (00:22:40):
I've listened to many episodes of your show and I've been thinking about it a lot, obviously the last three months right now with where I am, tell me if I'm wrong here, but I feel like, you know, love him, keep him safe. And try to impart a lot that as much as you can, the mistakes that you've made in your life, but like ultimately, like, I don't know I'm right now in my current state, I feel like, you know I, I, I don't have a ton of role over who this person becomes. Ultimately I just need to do my best as a dad. That's it? Which doesn't, I don't know, for some reason, I don't know if it's society, but I feel like that's, is that me being lazy or is that a cop out? I don't know.

Young Han (00:23:23):
I don't think so. I think that, like, I think that like most people wanting to do that is very, very noble  I actually think that there's not enough parent this is me being maybe pretentious or unkind here. But I actually think that as a society, we don't actually put as enough emphasis on being a good dad.  I don't think that its like as relevant as it needs to be. Right. And I think it's becoming more relevant with like the changing of the generations, but even within our generation, I don't see, you know, you know that the, the influx of dads that are like, Hey, this is important that I play a parental role that I take this seriously. So from my point, from my point of view and from my opinion from one, one dad to another, I'd say that even just being conscious of that fact and wanting to do a good job doing it is already being a step in the right direction.

Jacob Beemer (00:24:17):
Yeah, I think that was kind of, this is a good segue to talk about, you know, your talk, I wanted to talk about your parents. We can talk about, about my parents. Yeah. I feel like maybe our generation or people within our, the, that sort of came of age while the internet existed. Yeah. Like my parents, the way that they parented me definitely influences how I parent, but I feel like the, that when I was in the eighties and nineties growing up the world was completely different. Yeah. Completely different. And who I am as a dad is completely different than who my dad was like I, and by necessity, you know? Agreed. Yeah. And do you, that was my, my basic question is like, do you feel like your, the way that you were parent, it influences the way that you parent or is it like, no, I want to go in the other direction.

Young Han (00:25:12):
Yeah. I actively try to improve on what I've received as a child like I'm actively trying to improve on the way my dad raised me and my mom raised me. And I also think that I'm conscious. So the fact that my parents also tried to improve on parenting from their parents. And so I don't feel bad saying that. Right. Like I don't feel bad telling my parents that like, Hey, I'm trying to learn from what you guys did well and what you guys didn't do well and how I want to improve upon it because no matter what, you know, I also know that you did the same, you did the same and you tried your best to, to raise me. And I think it goes back to what you just said earlier. It's like our job is just to keep them safe and healthy and, and fed and physically, physically, mentally, you know, in a healthy space. And, and the reality is that a lot of the stuff that we do, it's not, not that it doesn't matter, but it's very, very fixable or changeable or malleable. my brother-in-law said it best. I mean, he has older kids, you know, and so he's, he's a little more experienced in parenting, but and he's an engineer, so take it for, take it for what it is but he said, but what he's found is that, you know, you can have a bad habit and then you can, you know, have good discipline and rigor for three days and they will literally learn the new habit, they're very malleable. Like so if you think that you've messed something up or you did, you did something wrong or like you, you know, you created a wrong set of values or whatever that is like in their early stages, like preteens, like just stick to the new thing for three days, three full days, and just be really rigorous about staying on that. And they will literally adapt they will literally adapt and I'm like, huh, that's really interesting. And and we've tested the theory and it's absolutely true.

Jacob Beemer (00:27:00):
That's really comforting to hear you say that my daughter has been sick. She got sick for the first time. And through her being sick, we changed a little bit about how we were feeding her, her sleep patterns changed, but it was like, you just said three days and we were able to reprogram the habits again. And it's nice to hear you. It's nice to hear you say that, you know, this continues on for years to come. Yeah, because she's, she's very adaptable and malleable is the perfect word. That's totally what it is. Yeah. 

Young Han (00:27:30):
That's totally what it is. And I, I think that that's like the big lesson that I've learned from the podcast is that, you know, it's not just about like being malleable. The kids that are kids are malleable and this, this, you know, juxtaposition between nurture and nature. It's also about being malleable as a parent yourself, right? Like, like understanding who you are and being cognizant of the fact that you are learning and adapting as well. And there is no right way to do this. And that's the one thing that I loved about this podcast is just the sheer volume of empathy that all parents have. I, I think people just like judge less. And then when I talk to my friends that don't have kids, the judgment is so high. Oh, it's insane. It's insanely high. Yeah. It's, it's insane. Then you talk to parents that have kids that are like, dude, as long as they're happy and healthy, like, I, I, I feel for them, like, I, you know, fight the good fight and the judgment is so low and like this, this weird thing happens and your empathy level, just like skyrockets and that I've seen common across all parents, right? Like you, you go into it thinking, you know who you are and what you want. And then your plans go to, quite frankly, and you just have to like, deal with that and, and ingest it and own it and be responsible for the fact that your plans aren't gonna be perfect, cuz it's not like a machine or a startup or a, or a software you're building, it's a human being and they're gonna react and respond how they want to. And it's not gonna work the same way that you want it every time and it's gonna be fickle and they're gonna adapt and change and you just have to be okay with that and then you just start and then makes you think about like, oh, if I have to be okay with that, then I wonder if other parents, you know, and then your empathy, I don't know, long story short, your empathy just starts to I rocket.

Jacob Beemer (00:29:06):
Yeah. And so this nature versus nurture thing is a theme in the show big time. But like generally speaking, thinking back on, it sounds like you have 30 in the can now 22 out, this is the 23rd episode. Right? what, what other themes in talking to all these people like, I'm so curious to know what's the overlap through all the episodes, the things that keep coming up. I'm super curious to know that.

Young Han (00:29:31):
Yeah. I the, I will say that I can answer this in two parts. One is that the themes that I see are people either choose to literally change their life, to accommodate the kid or they bring the kid along on their life. Mm. Like, it's really interesting, but what's really cool is like, it seems like it doesn't really matter. Like you can do it either way and, and, and the kid will just grow up, like playing music because you raise them to play music. Like, cuz that's just, just a music family, you know? And he just kind of drove that through or we're a traveling family. And so this kid just grew up traveling and they just know how to travel or like whatever that may be. And then the other half is that people like adapt their life. Like I'm gonna take a job or change my business or start a business. I can control my time better. And like they either adapt it and then, and, and focus more on like being this present parent that like, I don't know you get what I'm kind of going with. There's like these two paths that people take where they up uplift and uproot their lifestyle or they go further into their lifestyle and incorporate their kid into it. That's one theme that I saw, which is really fascinating. That is super, super fascinating. That is fascinating. It changes the way, like I think about parenting, right? I'm like, I'm like my, my oldest is four years old. I'm telling you right now. Like I'm like rethinking about like, which way I want to go because I chose the uprooting, my lifestyle path. I'm not gonna lie. I'm like now leaning more towards like, Hey, I should just like drive to what I want to do and then just incorporate them into it. 

Jacob Beemer (00:30:57):
Do you notice a difference in the, in the parents? Are they more or less happy with one of these two choices?

Young Han (00:31:03):
I think that parents are happy. Both ways. I don't think there's a, a, I don't think the happiness is a factor. I think for me, the, the benefit of going this other way is that I accidentally give too much like my wife and I are like, like we were parents, but before we were parents, like our dogs were our parents. Like we literally were always, like, we were, even when we went on vacation, we would be like, oh, I wish the dogs were here. Or like the one time we took a trip without the kids were like, oh man, I wish the kids were here. Like we're those parents. Right. We were like, we were always waiting to like serve and like support and nurture something, you know, together. That's cool. And that's kind of like we're bonded in that. And I guess my wife will laugh when she listens to this, because that, that's actually one thing that we have in common cuz we always talk about how different we are, but I mean, that's A super important thing to have in common. I mean that's harm harmony right there. Yeah. It's a good point. It's a good point. So yeah, so I think that that's like I think that's like the real, the, the, the big thing for us is like, we, you know, we naturally want to do that. We wanna like sacrifice ourselves for something, you know? And like we want to like nurture something and mm-hmm, and so I think that, you know, it's really great and it's really awesome. Like when you look out from the outside in, but I think it's also equally important listening to all of these parents, see some of these really some of 'em are really, really successful. Right? Like they've accomplished some monumental wealth some monumental traction or notoriety or whatever you want to notate a success. Right. They've achieved it. And I'll say that the ones that are kind of driving forward with their lifestyle are having, they have equally happy kids and okay. kids don't necessarily go, well, I never wanted to be a musician. They just don't be a musician but they also know how to play music. Right. I, I don't know how to explain it. Like these kids aren't necessarily being like limited by this, this facet or this direction, in some ways it almost instills this idea of like having a passion or, or something that you, that you love or a hobby. Right? Yeah. And then secondly, the thing that I'm most interested in about it is is that it equalizes like my wife and I need to service and support something else and like really make sure that we take care of ourselves. Right. Really defining our best boundaries. Super important. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz you want your kid to grow up knowing that, you know, you, you need to have something that fills your cup that you're happy and passionate about and it might not be the same, but this is mine. And since you, you know, you live in my domain, you'll, you'll go with it until you find your own and then I'll support you when you, you figure that out. Right. But I think it's one of those reasons why I do that. And that's kind of like the main, the main macro stuff that I saw that was kind of a early theme and then just to go back to the original question, cause I, I can't, I remember there's two things I wanted to say. The second thing.

Jacob Beemer (00:33:55):
I was just asking. Yeah. Just about themes. What, what what other stuff you saw?

Young Han (00:33:59):
Yeah, that was one theme that I saw is like this divergence of like kind of leading your life. I can't remember what the second one was.

Jacob Beemer (00:34:05):
Dang I actually, I have a follow up. So maybe it'll pop, pop back into your head. So let's do that. The other thing that I saw that was coming up in these episodes is that the word passion is used a lot by the news. And I think this is a really interesting topic because was raised by parents that did a really good job helping me learn how to find passion in work in art, in life. So it made me a very creatively attuned person as an artist, as a creative, I feel very unlocked. I've rarely ever felt blocked because of my parents' attention to like, you know, you don't need to go be a lawyer to make all this money or you don't have to be a doctor. You don't have, they never, never forcing any ideas on me. It was always just like, what do you love to do? What do you, what makes you come alive? What excites you? That was like a big part of my upbringing. That's awesome. Incredible amazed. The caveat to that is that I have been a stereotypical, starving artist all through my twenties because I, I received no financial education from my parents whatsoever. Right. That had to come after, you know, my partner who I've been with seven years, I've learned a lot of my financial education from her being that's awesome. Like I didn't think about it until I was like 28 years old. Didn't enter my mind. I'm like, I wanna go do this cuz I love it. I want to go out to LA and make movies. That's what I want to do. so anyway, I'm rambling. The, I love it. No, it's great. Passion has come up so much in this show and I think that it's a really interesting kind of line of conversation to hear you kind of, what are, what do people say about this topic? Like I, I struggle with like, no, she's gonna be a lawyer because that's gonna pay super well and then I'm gonna teach her how to have hobbies. And she can like financially never have, have to worry about money cuz that was so hard for me. Like, and then I'll teach her how to be a photographer and she can do it as a hobby. And if she finds a way to make money doing it great. If not, she's a lawyer, so it'll, everything will be fine. Or should I just be like, you know, it doesn't matter. Life is short, be passionate. Like if you just want to take film photos, the rest of your life never make any money. That's fine too. I go back and forth and this is what I'm struggling with the most right now. So I really wanted to talk to you about this because it's so funny.

Young Han (00:36:23):
Yeah. So funny because this is, you're like me a year ago. This is the exact same like white boarding session I had with myself a year ago. And I don't know if I have the right answer, but I can tell you what I came up with. I'd love to hear it. So what I came up with was that well let me start by telling you some historical context here. So you, so you know where I'm coming from? My parents were actually the opposite of you. So they went down the other route where they're like, Hey, I know you want to be a musician. I, I love, I love music. And so I play seven instruments. I wanted to be a rock star. Like I literally like wanted to play music for And my mom's like, you know, my junior, senior year in college is I'm making applications to college for music. She's like, Hey, let's like, like let's have a conversation. You know? Like you're not really that great of a musician. And I'm like, okay,

Jacob Beemer (00:37:11):
Did they say that to you? Like straight up?

Young Han (00:37:14):
My mom did. Yes. Straight up. Yeah. Amazing. Straight, straight, hardcore love. Right. And she's like the chances of you living a good life for yourself and your future wife and kids is probably really, really slim, you know? And I'm not saying it's impossible, but the chances of you making enough money to support a healthy lifestyle is, is, is gonna be really low. And you really should think about more than yourself and, and what you want to do and make sure that you have have a baseline of money. And so she did literally the opposite of what your parents said and you exactly the other option of what you said. So I just wanted to share that with you. So you knew that I was brought up in the exact opposite way that you were home that's good to know. Yeah. And so I went down the business route, right. So I took, I got a business degree and I went down that road and I don't think it really matters. Right. Like I, I genuinely don't think it matters which way you go down or how you want to do it. And like, for example, like, because of that, you know, it's not trauma, cause I'm not upset by, by any means. But obviously I Harbor some feeling towards it because yeah. I really want to push Lilian grace into playing music with me. 

Jacob Beemer (00:38:17):
I know because it's come up also in many of the episodes.

Young Han (00:38:20):
Yeah like I really, really want them to, so once a week I'll like play the piano and I like, whenever they sing, I like really get overly exaggerated. I like encourage them, you know, and I like document it and I show them afterwards and I really, really like physically and, and verbally encourage them and, and recognize them when they do anything artistic. Right. Especially as it relates to music. That's awesome. And because I'm trying to push it, right. I'm really pushing my agenda here and trying to instill in them a desire to play music and play music with me. So life goals for me is like having a YouTube channel where me and my are like singing cover songs. Right. That's like my goals for me.

Jacob Beemer (00:38:57):
Do you need to start that after this episode's done? That's, that's the super fun idea. I mean, you guys would have so much fun doing that.

Young Han (00:39:05):
Yeah. That's, that's like, that's the goal, but we'll see if I can, I can pull it off. I mean, I gotta get them to like, you know, wanna do it, you know, I hate, I hate, I hate the idea of like, you know, making the, and do something cuz like yep. You know, you'll like go out in public and you'll see these like, you know, I mean, for lack of better words, these Instagram moms like forcing their kids to do these perfect photos and shots and, and I'm, I'm like, I'm pretty active on social media as well, but nothing is necessarily manufactured. I just like live stream stuff. So it's just like raw like raw footage of what my kids are doing. And so I'm not saying that's better or worse, but I also don't want to be those parents that are like manufacturing, you know, like, Hey, like I want you to play this, but I do like internally I do wanna manufacture. I want them to play music. I desperately want them to play music. But yeah. The funny thing is my wife wants them to be outdoors. She wants them to play sports and she wants them to be out in the mud and like pick up bugs and like, you know, like just being more active and, and outdoorsy. And I want them to be indoors playing music and artistic and painting and, and playing music and things like that. And so it just kind of takes really fun polarity. And then simultaneously we're both trying to like keep our desires tempered so that the kid can actually tell us what they want to do. Right. Mm-hmm <affirmative> yeah. And so Lily just started TaeKwonDo and that's pretty interesting cuz you know, she, you know, she watched R and you know, she like now like is in love with like martial arts and she wants to like train and, and so she's doing that and that's really fun. And, and then we're try to find her piano lessons and she wants to do ballet and they're starting to like starting to express what they're interested in. Right. And so, yeah, it's kind of interesting and, and just trying to temper our desire to manufacture it. But I, I already forgot what the question was. Sorry.

Jacob Beemer (00:40:45):
The, just how important it is to, I guess the balance between these two choices, right? Like, yeah. You're gonna, you're gonna get as in math, your whole life until I can't control it anymore or kind of like the other extreme of mind.

Young Han (00:41:00):
Oh, what I came up with that's right.

Jacob Beemer (00:41:01):
Yeah like what, what have you come up with from all the conversations you've had? Have you come up with answers? 

Young Han (00:41:05):
Yeah. So what I'm doing, which is probably not something I recommend for other people. What I came up with was I'm gonna do the passion route. So I'm gonna do what I wasn't given and maybe that's because I wasn't given it like right. And that's not given to me. I'm not, I'm not remorseful or upset about it at all. I'm happy that my parents made me make that decision. I definitely like having money and I definitely like being able to make money and all those things, you know, and that's great. And those are good skills to have, but I definitely want them to be able to follow their passion. The concern I have around it is, is the money, because it does take money to follow your passion. It does take money to live a certain lifestyle safety and so the thing that I came up with was how about if I make so much money that I can create revenue streams for my kids, for the rest of their life start creating generational wealth and that's kind of what sparked this change in me this year of like finding people that have done it and created it and implemented it. And so that's the Genesis of kind of why this whole year, this 40th year has been so different. Why I started a podcast, why I started all as different businesses, why I'm starting all these service businesses, you know, that's the reason why is because now I'm like, okay, what if I let them do whatever they want and what if they do choose music? And they're just poor, you know, what if I was able to like buy them, you know, like five or six apartments. Yeah. And so by the time they're 18, they have five to $10,000 dollars a month coming in passively for the rest of their lives. And I just teach them financial acumen in, you know, literacy. So they understand that they don't sell it. They, you know how to manage those assets. Right. Yeah. And so they basically have income coming in for the rest of their lives. Right. Could I do that for my kids and, and set them up for success and teach them those skills. And can I do that in my lifetime where I can actually build that for them by the time they're 18? And I don't know if I can, Jacob, it's not, it's not easy, you know, to, to build that kind of wealth, but I'm sure as hell gonna try. And that's my goal for the next four years is to try as hard as I, as I can. And try to build it up.

Jacob Beemer (00:43:10):
It was a, it was a weird thing for me. I, I have very vivid had memories. It was almost just like what my parents said to me. And it was just this repetitive messaging of what do you love to do? What are you passionate about? And so then when I graduated high school, I kind of spent this year, a half a semester at a community college, kind of just like I had a pretty decent job back home in outside of Detroit and Michigan at the time. And I spent like a whole year just like pondering and thinking on it, what do I care about? Like, what do I want to do? Like, what am I like, all of my friends were going off to college and like getting business degrees or whatever, you know? And I was like, I don't want to just go pick something and go do it. Because, because raised like that, if I didn't care about it, I couldn't do it. Like I couldn't push through the hard work that it takes to do anything. Well, if I didn't care about it and I'm still like that to this day, like I am like we have a, we have a startup I am atrocious at accounting, and I like, don't have a passion for it. It doesn't juice me me up in any way. And that's why I'm bad at it. And I just don't do it. I don't do it.

Young Han (00:44:19):
It's so awesome. It's so awesome to hear you say that, cuz I, I, I don't know if you know this, but I actually stopped working at startups about two years ago and started consulting for them. And so like I just, all I do is help founder scale and I'm, this is no by no means sales pitch to you. So don't take it as such. Right. But the funny thing that I've learned over the last two years of consulting is that I have intentionally looked for founders like that are like, Hey, I love what I'm building. I'm passionate about what I build. Yeah. I don't understand the business, I of it. And I don't want to, I'm gonna focus on what I'm good at and what I'm passionate about and double down on this and hire people to do the stuff that I suck at and those are the founders that I'm, I've realized that are the natural fit for me. And I wonder if it's because I was raised the opposite way of being pragmatic

Jacob Beemer (00:45:05):
And you know, it's gotta have something to do with it.

Young Han (00:45:08):
Totally, it's fascinating to think about it that way, but I gravitate towards it.

Jacob Beemer (00:45:11):
It's funny because I'm just swinging the other way for my parents. Maybe you kind of said that maybe that's why you're doing it as well. Yeah. Is just like, well, you know, like I go back and forth on it, where I stand right now is that like passion is so important. Even after listening to several episodes of the show last night, I binge the girl dad show and I was like, wow, passion just keeps coming up over and over again. And these super, like you said, some of these guests are insanely successful and they just kept bringing it up that like teaching their kids how to like care about something and be passionate. Like life is so freaking hard. Like even if you go to be a doctor or a lawyer, like you're not gonna be a very good one, unless you're passionate about it. Like if you're just doing it for a paycheck, like you're gonna be a lawyer. Like yeah. Yeah. That's just the kind of the truth of it. 

Young Han (00:45:58):
That's it. Yeah. And I think that that's really interesting that you brought up passion. Cause I think everyone talks about passion in letting your kids be passionate. I think the thing that I wanna make sure my kids know is that they need to have determination and grit. I think passion is actually very, really easy. Like it it's fairly easy and addicting and, and, and nice. And fun and gratifying and all those things. I think the hard part about really being passionate about something is, you know, being able to muck through the bad parts of it, cuz nothing is perfect, but you have to love something enough to, to work around, adapt, accommodate, ingest process the bad. Absolutely that comes with that good. Right. That good has to outweigh the con, but nothing is perfect in this world. Everything has its cons and pros and passion is meaningless without determination and grit. It absolutely is. And that's kind of like the whole synthesis of execution. Right. And so I really wanna make sure my kids understand that like you, you can't just do what's fun and nice, you know, you have to like do what's fun and nice. And you have to like, if you truly love something, you'll love it. Even for its quirks and, and blemishes.

Jacob Beemer (00:47:04):
It's very true. It's, it's very true. And also, you know, I, I mentioned, I didn't make, you know, I was a starving artist through my twenties, but I had a great time. I was, you know, extremely happy, extremely fulfilled. I think, you know, money gives you security and safety. And, but ultimately for me, at least my relationship to it is it's just a means to an experience. And I love that. So it's not the money that makes you happy. It's like not having to think about rent that's right. That makes you, that makes you happy. If that makes any sense,

Young Han (00:47:38):
It makes so much sense. Yeah. And that's really what I've been learning this year, which is so sad because I'm like 40 years old. I'm just learning what you've learned probably decades ago, because the way that you probably brought up, but like, yeah, money is just a medium, it, it's not actually the end goal. And I think for the vast majority of my life, I was chasing money title, company, logos, like just things that like honestly were just vehicles to get to what you wanted, and that separation is, is so Sage that you, that you knew that so early on think that's really, really powerful. And I hope that you're able to impart that to your kid very quickly because helps. I wish I had known that sooner as well too. Like now I don't see money as the end goal at all. Right. Like I see it as a vehicle to get what I want, which is, which is freedom, which is time, which is experiences, which is, you know the nicety, you know, all those things. so yeah.

Jacob Beemer (00:48:32):
It's really, it's really great. Yeah. I have a really good one. I wanted to make sure I asked you this okay. About your, about your guests. And I, it's not actually about the guests. Maybe, maybe a guest had something like this, but like what's a mistake that you've made as a dad that you would actually make again because of the lessons that came from it.

Young Han (00:48:57):
I think like my wife and I go back and forth on this a lot and I don't like, I mean, I, I tell her that, like, it's not something that I want to bend on, but I have this weird habit, it of reciprocating people's flaws. I do this to adults like, and so I've just kind of like naturally done this for years and years and years. If so, if like someone is passive aggressive, I'll basically be passive aggressive back to them. Or if someone is pretentious, I'll be pretentious back to them or I basically just like, I, I reciprocate their, the mirror. Yeah. Their, yeah. Their flaws and, and I have no shame in it and I'm very, very blazant about it. Right. And I'm like waiting for them to call me out on it. So I can literally say, oh, that's, it's very similar to what you just did. Right, and and my wife hates it cuz she gets so uncomfortable. Right. And she gets so awkward and uncomfortable and she hates it cause I'll do it till the random strangers even. Right. And, and like, her thing is why can't you just be a normal person and just like, let things go. And I say, no, like, you know how the, you know, there's a common saying like what goes around, comes around how do you know I'm not what comes around? You know? Like how do you know that? How do you know that this person hasn't been doing this for, you know, years and years and years, and no one just wants to deal with the argument. That's gonna come from it, but they need a hear it because they're hurting people. And I have the ability to see that it's happening and I have the ability to process it and reciprocate it back to them so they can learn this lesson. So what makes you think that I'm not the come around? That's a very pretentious comment. Right. But I can't help myself. Like it just bothers me so much when people do these things and in a way though

Jacob Beemer (00:50:27):
That's an extreme form of love though. Like you're not necessarily being a Dick, like you're doing the hard thing socially so that they can learn a lesson. So you could say that it's a deep form of love and empathy. You spin it that way. You said

Young Han (00:50:40):
That because that's exactly how I feel about it. Like I literally tell people this I'm like, Hey, I could either ignore you And just say that everything you're saying is fine and you're great, or I could tell you that you have in your teeth because I care about you, but I don't wanna go down this road of arguing with you about it. You know? And so I'll tell people that I'm like becoming friends with when they do these things that are, are like socially annoying or white people avoid them or whatever that may be. And it's not necessarily really good or bad, but it is incredibly awkward, especially for my wife. Who's very nonconfrontational and you know, she doesn't like it, but I do this to my kids.

Jacob Beemer (00:51:16):
I think this is a, can you think of a specific example every day?

Young Han (00:51:22):
Every day. Yeah. Yeah. So like, if they're like mean or rude or they're Quish, I'm immediately back. Same level of energy, mean rude and Quish they so interesting. Yeah. Yeah. And my wife is like, Hey, you gotta be a parent. Like they're young kids that are emotional. And I'm like, yeah. But in my opinion, like they will never learn how the world is unless they see how, how that makes other people feel like that empathy. Level's never gonna be there. And, they're not gonna realize that intentions mean. It's all about perception, right? Like you could mean the best thing, but if people are perceiving you as a Dick, they're not gonna be your friend or they're not gonna get you Christmas gifts. They're not gonna want to be around you. Like perception matters so much. Yes. And you have to understand what people perceive, not what you intend. Right. And, and that's like, it's so important for me to like teach my kids that to me, my wife hates it cuz she's like, you're literally being a two year old and I'm like, so what, you know what I mean, though? Like the equal energy will eventually equalize itself.

Jacob Beemer (00:52:20):
I was just gonna say, you gotta come, you gotta be on the same playing field as them, for them to get it sometimes. And you know, it's so inter I, I, this is a lesson that I didn't really learn to be quite honest until I was in a long term relationship through my partner, Dorian, I have learned a lot about this intention versus perception cuz we would get in arguments. Yeah. She's very much like, like you a similar approach with people and in life in relationships, like she's very confrontational. She's okay with the comfortableness of it because she feels that it's like the ultimate form of care. It is, you know, letting people like the, the, the two, the teeth analogy is a great one or like, you know, yeah. Hey, your flies unzip, zip, your fly up, you know? Yeah. It might be a little weird to say that to somebody, but they're gonna be thankful that you said that that's right. And we, I it's it's so, so in important, and I'm, I'm loving that you had me on as your guest host today, because this is a really a little golden nugget that I was looking for with parenting. Obviously I can't do this with my little girl just yet. Cuz she'll be like what?

Young Han (00:53:24):
Yeah, exactly. Waking her up in the middle of the night crying. 

Jacob Beemer (00:53:26):
Yeah. No, I'm gonna cry too. Exactly. Go do that. You know what? I'm gonna, my pants at midnight's let's

Young Han (00:53:34):
See how you like it. And, and, and you know, I just want to caveat the fact that like, I actually think my wife is right, right. Like I think there's like, you know, a time and place for this. And you know, as I get older, I'm realizing that I need to, I do need to like, you know, not do this, especially like to strangers and in public places, you know? But I don't know. Like I just, it's just something that I've always done, you know? And like, I don't know if it's right or wrong, but I do know that I don't want my kids to be that cuz I like Lilly's like is such a little manager. Like when the kids come over, she'll like police, everyone make sure that they're having fun in the right, right way and everything. That's your oldest. Yeah. Like, and I'm like, oh God, like, and then everything's a competition. Like she has to win everything. Right. Like, I mean, she is so competitive. She's more competitive than me. And it's amazing. Right. like just, there's just certain things that like there's certain attributes that I'm like, am I doing this the right way? Or should I kind of temper this down? But it honestly, between you and me, since my wife's not here, I'm really happy. She's competitive. Like, like I, I love it. I think that it's great because I, I definitely want her to like wanna win. I want her to win like really, really badly and, and know that it takes sacrifice in hardships to win, but I want her to be a winner. Right. And figure out how to ride those waves to get to that point. But it is a little weird to have a four year old try to manage and police activities and equity, equity and fun. Right. With

Jacob Beemer (00:54:54):
The kids. Does she do that to you and your wife or to just her? Oh yeah, yeah,

Young Han (00:54:57):
Yeah. Oh yeah. She was like, Hey, that's, that's not fair that you did that dad because of this. And then she'll have like, yeah, she's a little, she started a little manager. Right. And she like manages that us and tries to manage like it's, it's hilarious. It's literally hilarious. And like, you know, I'll bust out giggling. Cause I can't control how funny the whole situation is, but yeah. So I, I think my wife is right, right. And like, if you watch Amy like raise and discipline the girls, it's, it's incredible. Right? Like she's even keeled very like non it's just incredible. She's really good parent. She's she's a really good mom. And her comment is absolutely correct. Right. Like she's like, I I'm the one parent and I have three kids and a dogand I'm like, that's absolutely correct. You know, that's absolutely valid. I just wanted to share my point of view on this podcast because I do think that what I'm encouraging in my kids is the sense of like, you know, having repercussions and understanding that like, you know, not everything is like as great the world. Isn't great. The world isn't nice. No, it's not. It's a terrible place in a lot of ways, you know? And so I just wanna make sure that they're, they're prepared for the realities that, you know, friends are hard to make and relationships are hard and, and nurture and grow and, and actions have consequences.

Jacob Beemer (00:56:12):
That's why this show is so awesome. And why you set out to do this and you know, I hope you keep going and going and going and you know, we connect again and you're on episode a hundred because I feel like there are these themes that that are, are there for parents, for dads that yes. Times change things change. I think about like, man, when she's a teenager, like we're, everyone's talking about web three right now and you know, this new era that we're entering of the internet and I'm like, I'm not even gonna recognize the technology that's that she's gonna be using. Like how can I possibly arm her with information about the world when I'm not even gonna recognize it when she's in her twenties? Yeah. I'm gonna be the old guy trying to use the technology that I don't understand. She's gonna be like, dad. Yeah. So I I'm like, okay, I need to figure out what these themes are. That just through time, you know, and technology doesn't remove these rules, these tenants of being a dad, I need to figure out what they are. And that's why this show is awesome. Cause I feel like that's what you're trying to do.

Young Han (00:57:13):
I am. Yeah. I mean, I, I I think I'm trying to do a lot of things with this show. Right. And I will say that I will keep it going. And I, I have no intentions of stopping because the, the intention for the show was really brought into stark contrast for me when not stark contrast, but like kind of came to like a, like a, a track, right? Like a decision tree that I had to make when we started getting pitched guests. And so I started getting, pitched these guests to be on the show, which cool. Right. I'm like, oh cool. I'm getting some notoriety people wanna be on the show. And like and the guests, the, the, the, the prowes or the success level started to increase and I'm like, do I want to go down that road of like, getting these really like big successful people on there Or do I want it to have like this layer of success that they have, and they're struggling to get successful. I, I had to like really do some full searching to figure out why I'm doing this. And the reality is that I'm doing it for me. I'm not really doing it for anybody else. I'm doing it for myself. And so I made the hard decision not to take on some bigger name guess and just focus on people that are struggling with being a good parent and also succeeding in, in business and, and professional life. Right. So, yeah, it's, it's literally just like, it's a, it's a, it's like a, I call, I tell my wife, I'm like, Hey, some guys have like country club memberships. I have a podcast. Right? Like it's just an expense. It's just an expense that I'll pay for, for the rest of my life. And if people enjoy it great, you know, and I'm glad that they're learning from it and they're gaining something from it. But the reality is now I know for a fact, you know, I'm doing this for me and it's really enjoyable for me. And I genuinely wanna learn from other parents that are like me struggling with the same issues. And so yes, I will continue to do it. And Jacob, I'm hoping you had fun today, cuz I would love for you to do this every year on my birthday.

Jacob Beemer (00:59:00):
That's awesome. Yeah. I would love to as well. That's I'm gonna have some interesting notes in one more year. I it's it's great.

Young Han (00:59:06):
Yeah. Cause you'll have a year under your belt. You'll have a year and three months under your belt

Jacob Beemer (00:59:10):
A year and three months. It goes, it's start time, man. Time is just, it's speeding up to a, a rate that I can't even comprehend anymore. I'm just like, It's crazy.

Young Han (00:59:18):
Oh yeah. It goes so much faster. Yeah. Then, and then I, then I thought too, like I, I just talked to my wife about it all the time. We're like, I can't believe they're so old and big now. Like I feel like we've like just flown by and so yeah. Enjoy it, enjoy it and cherish it. And yeah. Thanks again for doing this. I really

Jacob Beemer (00:59:35):
Appreciate it. Yeah, absolutely. I that's it, I don't, I mean, we very naturally cruise through everything that I had written down, so <laugh>, I that's great. This was a very, very easy conversation.

Young Han (00:59:45):
Yeah. You're, you're great at this. I I gotta check out your podcast and, and I, I didn't know you had two, right? I, I knew that you had the one with grater, but I didn't know you had another one.

Jacob Beemer (00:59:55):
So I am involved technically with, I would say floating around war shows. Oh my gosh. Some, some people drop off others don't cuz our startup through grater, you can manage your entire show. You can manage your newsletter to manage the editing, the guest, booking the website, all that stuff. So we have varying degrees of help that are varying degrees of which we help people. So we have our gravity show. That's mostly just like our content Bible of everything marketing and we just kind of, we have like 200 blog posts and we'll do, we'll do a podcast episode version of the blog post each time they come out. Yeah. We've been on a two month hiatus for obvious reasons. Yeah. Yeah. And then I have a show that I started with my buddies called investing in cannabis about cannabis founders and investors were 200 episodes into that. Gravity's podcast is I think we're at 30 episodes. And then you know, I, my introduction to San Francisco in 2013 was I would, as the technical director for this weekend startups, that's kind of where that was my baptism by fire into podcasting. No way. Yeah. So I was doing Jason Cal can's show for 350 episodes. I think we did together. That was kind of, oh, I had no idea.

Young Han (01:01:19):
That's amazing.

Jacob Beemer (01:01:20):
Oh you didn't. I thought maybe that you knew that already, I was assuming that you did cuz we, we, you and I met at J Cal's party. Yeah. At J Cal's party. Yeah. A couple years ago and I yeah, a couple years ago. So that's kind of how I got, when I moved to San Francisco, I worked for a startup for a year and then I started working for him, did that for a year and a half. And then I was like, okay, I wanna be a founder now. Nice. and start to building companies after that.

Young Han (01:01:46):
That's awesome. And I didn't know, you offered a podcast service. That's fantastic.

Jacob Beemer (01:01:50):
Yeah, we do. It's a, it's a little bit more high end is what I tell people. It's more high touch, more white glove. So like, if you just need someone to take two audio files and slap 'em together you should go the freelancer route. Cause they're gonna be cheaper than us, but we offer like, you know, show notes and posting and kind of like the full high end package of producing a show. Yeah.

Young Han (01:02:11):
I'm gonna I'm gonna hit you up so we can talk about that cuz I'm actually really interested.

Jacob Beemer (01:02:16):
Awesome. Yeah. Sounds great. Well, very in, it's been amazing to connect. I'm gonna continue to learn from you and your show. I hope I hope this conversation was helpful to people.

Young Han (01:02:26):
Yeah. Thank you so much, Jake. I appreciate it. I'll talk to you soon. Okay. All right, man later, thanks for tuning into another episode of the girl dad show. We really hope you enjoyed that interview. And as always, please take a moment to review great and subscribe. We'll see you next time.

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