Jenn Cole (00:00):
I've found real estate and found my passion. I wish that I had encouraged that in him earlier. I get to combine everything. I love. I get to work with people. I get to help them with some of their interior design or, you know, when we walk into a house, see the potential of what it could be, have to build relationship with your kids, where they are. And I think that changes as they go through their stages of in life, expose them to everything, and they're gonna figure out what they love!
Young Han (00:31):
Hey guys, I'm young, a full-time dad and a full-time professional with the goal to become the best parent possible. The girl dad show is my journey interviewing fellow working aspiring to be both good at work and parenting. I'm gonna do this by gathering and sharing unfiltered perspectives for my guest to join me. As I research parenthood one interview at a time. This episode of the girl dad show is brought to you by two 12, among the many things that I do. I'm also an angel investor. The two biggest mistakes I see founder make. When they come to me for investments or one, they don't have a clean cap table. And two, they're unable to clearly articulate how my equity will dilute over future rounds. And more importantly, what my ROI will be when the company exits it's very difficult for me to make my investment decisions without these data points. Two 12 solves this problem for both me and the founders for $240 a year, two 12 offers an incredibly powerful cap table management and valuation modeling platform. It is by far one of the most powerful productivity tools I've seen. And I highly recommend every founder sign up modeling, convertible notes, safes price rounds, prorata liquidation preferences, and exit events is a breeze on two 12 founders can then and easily share all these complex calculations and what if scenarios with investors and close their around much quicker. They're also giving my listeners 25% off their first year's membership costs. If you use the discount code TG DS at checkout, and if you're a founder or investor, you should absolutely get on two 12 as soon as possible. It's an absolute, no brainer. Dilution is real and com cap table management is confusing and expensive. You need to get on two 12 today. What's the point of building a successful company. You don't own. Jen, thank you so much for joining me on my show today.
Jenn Cole (02:15):
Thanks for having me.
Young Han (02:16):
I am so glad to have you here. It is gonna be a really, really fun episode to be able to talk to you in a different capacity than what we normally do. Yeah, for sure. Let's jump right into it. Why don't you tell the listeners what you do?
Jenn Cole (02:28):
Okay. I am primarily a real estate agent here in the Austin area, but also co-owner of heart and homes Realty group, which is powered by Keller Williams. So started our brokerage. I guess about five months ago, we moved out and started branding on our own and hiring agents. So that's what we do.
Young Han (02:47):
That's amazing. That's awesome. And I I got to know you through real estate as well, so there's a lot to unpack there and we've had some really great stories and conversations around real estate, but also just like family and stuff. I feel like being a real estate agent really does allow you to like, play so many roles for your clients. For lack of better words, you do end up being like, what did I call you one time? I said, you were like a therapist, a coach a salesperson, a negotiator. Yeah. It was pretty funny. That's what we do.
Jenn Cole (03:19):
That's what we do. Yeah. So what are some of the big, more therapy than it is anything else just walking you through the process?
Young Han (03:23):
That's right. That's right. Just like helping people do like one of the largest transactions I'll ever make, right? Yes,
Jenn Cole (03:28):
Exactly. Nothing big.
Young Han (03:30):
What are some of the big projects you're currently working on?
Jenn Cole (03:34):
Big projects i'm currently working on? Oh goodness. Got some new builds going. We finally have some inventory in Austin, so really excited to see the market here stabilizing a bit. It's we're still having some multiple offers in the lower price points, but it's really starting to slow down, which we're, we're kind of glad about be able to take a breath and buyers that haven't had a chance are now getting homes. So it's, it's a good thing.
Young Han (03:58):
Yeah. It is a thing. And it's a good thing for me too. I mean, I definitely am looking to buy some more homes, so I'm excited about it slowing down a little bit. Cause it was really chaotic to be trying to learn how to do real estate investing the last couple of months here.
Jenn Cole (04:13):
It's been kind of nuts, crazy market we've had. Yes.
Young Han (04:15):
Yeah. Yeah. And it's gotta be really fun for you kind of building a during this crazy time in real estate in Austin specifically, I'm assuming it's gotta have been just maniacal.
Jenn Cole (04:27):
It is it's, it's very challenging. And you won't find many agents that have actually liked the climate that we've had lately. I mean, sellers are loving it, but you just can't your buy, get your buyers, any homes. So it just, it it's been really difficult and I'm glad to see it slow down. Now we can start focusing on hiring more agents, getting more processes in place. Mm-Hmm <affirmative> things like that, which is our next, our next big challenge.
Young Han (04:52):
Nice. Very cool. And then what about your your kids? How many do you have and who are they and how old are they and who are they?
Jenn Cole (05:01):
We have three. My husband has two from prior marriage and I have one, we have a boy or girl that are both 24 years old, graduated high school the same year. And then we have our oldest one who is 27. They are all kind of out of the nest or getting ready to be out of the nest, which is kind of exciting and scary at the same time.
Young Han (05:24):
What do you mean?
Jenn Cole (05:27):
You know, my son's 24, he's the last one that's been here. He's been in school. So he's stayed at home, he's now graduated, gotten himself a, a really great job and is co co purchasing a condo because, you know, I couldn't be a real estate agent and let him rent. So he is, he's gonna co purchase a condo with us cos siding and it's gonna be good.
Young Han (05:51):
Got it. So, so you're gonna buy a, you're gonna buy a condo with him.
Jenn Cole (05:54):
Yeah. I mean, he's gonna be working at the domain here in Austin, which is, you know, retail shopping, lots of trendy restaurants, clubs, and he couldn't find anything to rent for as cheap as we could buy him a condo. So why not buy something, gain some equity and keep, you know, building our empire.
Young Han (06:12):
Absolutely. I'm, I'm totally in with that. I, and as you know we've spent a, a lot of time over the last few months, this year, actually specifically getting to know each other, just because of my desire to become a real estate investor and trying to learn that ropes. And, you know, you've been teaching me a lot about the mechanics of it, but I completely agree with you, but I do have to qualify. Did you just say that the rent is too hard to find? And so it's, it's actually cheaper to buy than it is to rent. Is that what you said or did I hear you wrong?
Jenn Cole (06:36):
It is actually in that area. It is cheaper to buy than it is to rent.
Young Han (06:42):
Wow, wow. Yeah. Wow. What a time to be in real estate, right? That is like, that is like crazy. But I believe it, it makes sense. It totally makes sense. Cuz like the barrier to entry is just high enough where it actually then further exacerbates the rent right. Where like it does, there's not enough availability that it increases the rent. Right. That's so crazy.
Jenn Cole (07:01):
That's a price point right now that, you know, you've got younger buyers looking at one bedroom condos and they just don't have the credit scores or they don't have the down payment. So they have to rent, which, you know, ends up, costing them more in the long run. And that's what I kind of wanna avoid from Matt. Let's gain some equity while he pays, pays rent to us, you know?
Young Han (07:21):
Oh nice. So you're gonna charge him rent though. That's great. I love it. He's gonna pay the mortgage.
Jenn Cole (07:25):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. We're gonna help co-sign on it and then he's gonna take it and. . .
Young Han (07:31):
Cause my next question was gonna be, what about the other kids? Are you gonna help them with their stuff but it sounds like he's paying his mortgage.
Jenn Cole (07:37):
We have, oh and you know, the good thing is I've been working with Matt since he was a teenager to make sure his credits where it's need to be, he doesn't have much credit, but what he has is great. And so, you know yeah, absolutely. If we can get our other kids to that point absolutely would help them as well.
Young Han (07:54):
Nice. That's awesome. And is, did you, did you grow up with that kind of background in many or is that something that you learned along the way? Like what, where did that come from?
Jenn Cole (08:04):
Definitely for me learned that along the way. I was the kid that was, you know, got a checkbook and oh, I have a check. I can write a check. Doesn't mean I have money in the bank, but I can write a check. Yeah. So it's definitely been a process for me to learn, you know, over the years the credit scores and you know, what all that can do for you and especially helping buyers and sellers.
Young Han (08:27):
Now, it it's huge. Have you always been in real estate or did you dabble in other things growing up?
Jenn Cole (08:32):
I have not. I started out after college. As a social worker worked in a nursing home, skilled nursing for decades as a social worker and then opened up my own interior design business and then got uprooted here to Texas. So started the real estate thing.
Young Han (08:52):
Yeah. That's awesome. It's kind of very, very timely that you moved to Austin during this time and then you picked up the real estate thing. And so cuz I, I feel like even among the vast and rapid growth of real estate all over the country and probably all over the world, I feel like Austin is like extra special right now. I just feel like it's like the epicenter of all of it. Right? Like it's just like crazy here. Yeah.
Jenn Cole (09:17):
Because I've been here long enough to know that this was not the market. When I moved here, you know, when I started real estate here, you could make an offer underneath asking and you could negotiate repairs. You could do everything that a typical buyer would be able to do. And that changed with COVID that's when everything kicked off COVID started. There was a lull of three to four weeks where nobody pretty much did anything. Everything was really quiet and they were talking about shutting builders down and just a kind of a scary time. And then things just exploded and it just now has started to slow down.
Young Han (09:52):
So you're saying like just at the COVID time, the changes sparked. So you're talking less than two years.
Jenn Cole (09:58):
Absolutely. And all this, this craziness and not this way before COVID started
Young Han (10:01):
Wow. What a time to be in real estate. Yeah. And then there's people like me just exacerbating the problem. Cause I'm just like trying to find more I want more, I want more real estate. I love it. And so what do you think about what do you think about this? Like what's driving you to do this? I, I mean, I'm like really curious as you like start to think about like you just said building your empire and kind of like figuring out how to do this for your kids. What does that look like for you?
Jenn Cole (10:29):
You know, it's when I started real estate, I never would've imagined that I would be, you know, co co owner of a brokerage and has happened very quickly, but my partner and I also started out very, very heavy and very, very hard hitting. We were those agents that during class, when I was taking class at my first brokerage and only had my license for three weeks, I was negotiating the sale of a $650,000 house. That's how quickly I started. And you know, my momentum has not stopped since. So I think, you know, that has allowed me to get to the point where I am. Whereas now my business is a lot of referral base and sometimes that takes agents a few years to get to that point. So I've gotten there a bit quicker, which has helped me grow my business just as fast you.
Young Han (11:17):
Yeah. So, but I guess what I'm asking is where did that come from? Where did that drive to grow so fast and do real estate come from? Because I feel like real estate, unlike most businesses is very, very self-driven. And if in order to be successful at it, you have to like put in the, you have to want it first off, you have to have the motivation and then you have to have the perseverance to stick with it because there's a lot of agents, the, there are a lot of agents and the vast majority of them don't do well. Right. Yeah. And so, you know what I mean for you to be, to, to be, you know, new at it, relatively new at it in the scheme of things or not necessarily being a real estate family or multi-generations, or, you know, doing that steeped and you know what I'm talking about, this kind of agents that have that have it on the family coming in as almost like a newcomer and like taking it over and being successful at it must have created some level of like you know, I don't know what's the catalyst for that
Jenn Cole (12:11):
I don't know. I mean, you know, the, the statistics are scary. It's somewhere between 75 and 80% of agents the first year aren't gonna make it that's. Right. but you know, like we talked before, the careers that I've had before have led me to this, you know, it's, they're working with people on the social work aspect, it's the interior design, which has allowed me to juggle more multiple projects and talk to people and get to know what they actually really are looking for, which is a big thing in real estate. And it just absolutely clicked. I mean, it's like I found my calling later in life, but I finally found it and it's absolutely love it. It's a passion of mine now. And
Young Han (12:49):
Then when you were growing up with the kids, did you actually continue to work or were you a stay at home or what was that looking like for you?
Jenn Cole (12:56):
I stayed at home with my son until he started kindergarten and then started working part-time so that I could be there after he was, he was outta school you know, doing social work, working with teenagers and then eventually kind of graduated to the nursing home. So, you know, he doesn't have, he does have that foundation of me staying at home, but I think he more remembers me going through a divorce and having to work full time and work over time. And you know, slowly getting to the point where I am now. So he's seen kind of both aspects of it.
Young Han (13:32):
Got it. So you got divorced, like when you, who was going into elementary school, middle school. Yep. I did. Wow. Got it. And so does that have a does that have like one of those things that you're like, you's like almost like a second coming, like you're, you're now kind of like, like redoing redoing your kids are about to leave the nest and you're like, what the hell am I gonna do with my time? <Laugh> and there's a part of that.
Jenn Cole (13:54):
A lot of people are slow and down at this point and I'm not it's, you know? Yeah. I found my career later in life. It, it really is a passion of mine because it helps me, you know, I get to combine everything. I love, I get to work with people. I get to help them with some of their interior design or, you know, when we walk into a house, see the potential of what it could be if gets renovations. So I felt like I found my stride later in life and I have no plans to slow down right now. It's fun. It's totally fine.
Young Han (14:23):
I love it. Yeah. Love. What do you, what do your kids think about it?
Jenn Cole (14:27):
You know, they're kind of amazed that I started out and went as fast as I did. I mean, I did the same with my interior design business three months after I started that I had a contract for a condo community that was 300 units to redo, you know, their entire space after a hurricane. So that's kind of how I do things if I do 'em and I love 'em then I just, I go for it.
Young Han (14:51):
Where did that come from? What was your childhood like?
Jenn Cole (14:55):
Childhood. I can't say it was difficult, but there were definitely struggles. My father left when I was three years old, so he was not involved in my life at all after the age of three. So I was raised with a single mother who worked three jobs to oh, wow. And I can I say this to her often? I look back now and I didn't know that I was poor as a child because my mom never let me know that I look back at some of the meals that we ate were so economical, but to me, they were my favorite meals. They were what I looked forward to. So she never, you, you know, she never had that mentality of, oh, we don't have it's well, what do we need to do to get to where we want to be or what we want to have? So she definitely instilled that in me, if you want something you're gonna work for it.
Young Han (15:45):
Oh, got it. And so so then were you able to like carry that on obviously in your business here, but how about with your kids? Are you doing that to them as well, or?
Jenn Cole (15:55):
You know, we are trying and they're, they're getting on path now. I think several of 'em have found their, their, their loves and their careers later on. My son always kind of wanted to do culinary, but went to school for, in a, you know, robotics and technical high school. So was kind of stuck in between which one he wanted to do. He had actually started four year college before we moved here and then put that on hold when we moved here. And then, you know, a business, he was working at closed and we said, you know what, let's do school. Let's go back culinary. Let's do what you actually love, because I can't say that I encourage that career for him because I didn't want the long hours. I didn't want everything that comes with, but it's what he loves. So, you know, finally just food business, it's what he loves to cook. He loves to have people enjoy his dishes and make different things.
Young Han (16:53):
How are you balancing that though? So like, based on what you want for him versus like, what, what, you know, they want for themselves, like, what's the, what's the, what's the right mix coming at the back. I mean, you're not at the back end of it, but I'm like way early on in my parenting career. So from my point of view, you've made it, you know what I mean? and so, you know, coming on that, you know, adult side of it, like, what do you think was the right balance? Do you have any regrets or any things that you think you did well on when it comes to?
Jenn Cole (17:17):
I do. I wish that I encouraged him to do what he wanted to do earlier, because I feel like in some ways I wanted him to go to a tech field. I wanted him, you know, to make all this money and be so successful, you know, creating games and things like that. Which is coding and, and everything that he was into, but it was not his passion. Yeah. And, you know, especially now that I've found real estate and found my passion, I wish that I had encouraged that in him earlier, because I think he'd probably be farther along. But hindsight 2020, he's now doing exactly what he loves and, and, you know, doing great at it.
Young Han (17:57):
That's awesome. That's really, really interesting. I, I, I struggle with this quite a bit with my girls. Right. Cuz I I know I've talked to you about it, but I probably have an elaborate to the extreme of how bad I want my, my girls to be musicians, which is probably antithesis to what most parents want their kids to be. And Amy absolutely does not want them to be musicians cuz she's worried about them being successful musicians. And she just connotates like, like fame and music with like drugs and like, you know, just like all the things that go like. And so it's really funny because she's like, I mean obviously we're gonna want them to be successful. And so if they're successful in musicians, aren't they gonna be prone to doing drugs. That's literally where her mind goes and I'm like, okay. yeah, I guess it's one way of thinking about it. Yeah. So that's kind of where I wanted my kids to go, but I always struggle with like, you know, just how to like guide them towards that and make that part of their life and, and make sure that I'm also not being commandeering of, of who they are because to your point, I think it's so valuable to really like just spur, spur their interest in things and help them figure out what they're passionate about and what they click with much more than like, you know, structuring them to be, Hey, this is gonna be economically the most you know, solvable or efficient for you. Right, right. Yeah. And I think that that's one of the big things that I think most parents are focused on is like, Hey, safety and security first. Right. And so that's why we push our kids to be doing things that, you know, we think are gonna be more, more beneficial for them. But I love that. I love that advice coming from back end of it, as they start to leave the nest, you wish you would've done that more. That's really interesting.
Jenn Cole (19:35):
You know, the only thing you could say is just expose them to everything as much as you possibly can get them in, you know, piano classes, but dance classes or, you know, computer classes expose them to everything and they're gonna figure out what they love, you know? Yeah. Despite, you know, mom wanting them not to be a musician and dad not or dad wanting them to, they're gonna find what they love.
Young Han (19:57):
It's inevitable. That's right. I still, I still whisper in their ears when they're sleeping. Be a musician, be a musician at least 20 times every night. But yes, absolutely. Everything you just said too. do they do they enjoy real estate through just osmosis or has that had any impact on them, your kind of like second career here or your second run at, you know, business?
Jenn Cole (20:17):
No, not really. None of them have really expressed too much of an interest. One of them in passing, but not sure that's ever gonna, ever gonna come through. But I'm here to support 'em if that's what they want.
Young Han (20:30):
Interesting. Yeah. I feel like I feel like there's a lot of things that I think kids will soak up in, you know, they'll like basically either take nurture nature, but, and then within that they'll either like try to emulate or they'll do the exact opposite of have you noticed that?
Jenn Cole (20:49):
I have, yeah. And you know, I explain a lot of 'em to him and especially going through this condo purchase with, you know, my son right now, he wanted me, when we got back from seeing the condo, he wanted me to put in an offer like right then and right there. And I'm like, no, I'm not doing that. We have a strategy. This is how, and I had to explain to him why, you know, being the first offer in is sometimes not always the best. So he's definitely absorbing that. And I think I am instilling in him, even if you don't go into real estate, real estate is a great place to invest, so let's make sure that's in our future.
Young Han (21:25):
Yeah. I love that. And I think that, that it's really clever too. I mean, if you can figure out ways to get them to diversify into real estate. I mean, that's one thing that I really want my kids to have, whether they're interested in it or not. I think the concept of like diversifying your income is super, super critical. Right. And as I've, as I've gotten, you know, and you've seen me evolve this year probably more than anybody actually. I know to be quite honest with you is really funny because we met through buying my house here, moving to Texas. But in inevitably you, you ended up being like this catalyst and cohort in my total transformation this year and kind of like the way I perceive life and money and, and I've just like, you know, like it's just one of those things where I'm like, my kids are gonna grow up with diversified assets and they're gonna have real estate as part of it. It's just one of those things that they have to have. And I wish I had known this, you know? And I don't know. It's just, it's like, well, not one of those negotiable things where I'm gonna talk to 'em about it. It's just like, no, they're, you're gonna know this and you're gonna have it and you're gonna learn how to manage it and just keep it because I wish I had known this like 20 years ago, I feel like I'd be in a completely different situation am now. Right. And not to say that, not to say that money solves everything, but sure helps a lot.
Jenn Cole (22:35):
Yeah, that's for sure. Yeah. And I know like my husband is well, you know, we flipped a house a couple months ago, turned around and sold it and made money on it. And you know, he thought, okay, we're done with real estate for a while. We're not gonna do anymore. You know, we're looking at different areas of real estate and I'm like, Nope, we're buying a condo. And he's like, what do you mean? We're buying a condo, you know? And so to sit down and explain to him the whole rent versus buy, you know, what we're gonna get from it, you know, a huge thing for him just to help him understand why are we doing this and why doing it this way. Whereas me being the real estate professional, I'm like, yep, we're buying a condo, I'm writing a contract. We're going to see 'em, we're doing, you know, everything we need to do. And so sometimes I think we have to slow down and bring our spouses into our sphere and make them understand what we're doing.
Young Han (23:26):
Yeah. And what is that like with your with, with your spouse? You know, know, like what does that look like as a parent and as an entrepreneur, like at this stage of your life? Like what does that look like? It's gotta be so different. You have the kids leaving the nest you guys are obviously spurring up a business that is growing. I mean, you're doing a lot of different things right now. What is, what does your husband think about all this
Jenn Cole (23:50):
He absolutely loves it. He keeps telling me he wants to be a CA man and he is gonna retire. And let me be his, his sugar mama.
Young Han (23:58):
I love it. I love it kept man. That's nice, That's his goal in life?
Jenn Cole (24:01):
It's you, he totally gets it. Our next kind of focus in real estate would be to buy some pots of land, have somebody build on them, sell some inventory homes, things like that. So that's the next focus. And the condo definitely wasn't expected. It wasn't something we knew we were gonna do, but just looking at the numbers, it just makes sense. Yeah. so we're gonna have that in a per polio and whatever comes next. We're gonna we'll tackle cuz we're just, I'm excited. Just like you, I'm very excited to build a different diversity of things that we've got going on.
Young Han (24:38):
Yeah, and I, and I love the, I love that you called out the numbers thing, right? Because like what, I've, what I've learned in this short span of like, you know, seven months, a eight months that I've been doing real estate is that you cannot get at all emotional about it. And I mean, right now I'm not at that point. Right. I'm still, I still like, even though I know logically that I can't get emotional, I still am emotional about it. Like it's just, it's inevitable and I'll have to keep doing more reps to completely detach myself from the emotion. But the, the it's so important that you really treat it as like, do the numbers make sense? It's it needs to be like that. And obviously it's really hard to, you know, cuz we're emotional creatures as human beings, but right. What's really fascinating about that concept of like, does it actually make sense, goes again, back to being a parent, and it's like, if you know that that's the reality and that's, what's gonna drive success in this area. Wouldn't you also parlay that into your parenting, but also like doesn't that also mean that when you are parenting your kids, do you want them to know these kind of concepts of like, Hey, this is like hard numbers. You don't wanna mess it that even though it's an emotional thing, like it's just like a really, really interesting thing to think about that I've been bustling with, try to learn how to detach my emotions. You know, I'm a very emotional person, I'm very outspoken and I love people and all those things. And so trying to like separate the two things has been really, really hard for me in many, many areas. Does that, does that make sense to you or am I, am I conflating this?
Jenn Cole (26:03):
No, absolutely. I mean, it's been a journey even just, you know, I keep talking about this condo, but it's, it's been a real journey for this one because you know, my son initially started looking at apartments around where he was gonna be, his new job is gonna be and you know, just going, oh my gosh, look, look at the rent of these. Okay. And then sitting down and doing the numbers and he showed me the numbers, which is kind of what sparked me to say, well, you know, let's look at what's around the let's look at real estate and see what we can do. Because even if we paid the same amount of rent that we are the mortgage, which it's not, it's gonna be less. But even if we paid the same amount, that's our house, that's our equity. That's, you know, a part of our portfolio that we're building. So it's just a matter of educating. This is what this can do and this is what this can help us with with our future.
Young Han (26:51):
Yeah. That's awesome. Very, very cool. And and then, so what is, what is a parenting look like for you now that you have these adult children? Like what does that even mean? Does that mean you're done? Like what does that mean? Like do you still, oh, you're never done.
Jenn Cole (27:09):
Okay. Cause they'll always come home, you know? And that's funny, we were talking about with my son moving out now, what are we gonna do with his room? And I just couldn't grasp the fact that I can redo it as a guest room now the, because he's gonna be really gone. Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, it's bittersweet because you love having him around, but on their hand you do want him to stand up and fly in there own feet. And our other two have been independent for much longer than my son has. So it's just gonna be an adjustment, a huge adjustment. And he know it's hard on his mom, so he's gonna be coming home often.
Young Han (27:48):
Jenn Cole (27:49):
It's the house with each kid. I mean, you know, one, we talk to lives in Florida and we talk to her on the phone every couple of days, the other lives here in Texas. So we see him once a week. So it just, you know, you have to build relationship with your kid where they are. And I think that changes as they go through their stages in life.
Young Han (28:09):
Yeah. And what stages, what stages the the one before this and what stage do you think that you're in right now?
Jenn Cole (28:17):
Right now? You know, one of them is very secure. She's known what she, our daughter has known what she wanted to do since middle school. Oh wow. So she has been very set on exactly what she wants to do has gotten a full-time job, doing exactly what she wants to do and what she loves. Wow. Our oldest son has struggled a bit. He's not sure where he wants to end up or what he wants to to do. He know he, he knows he's a hard worker and he knows he's smart and he's good at managing things. So it's all about finding that opportunity for him. And now Matt's finally found my son has found his way. So, you know, hopefully we've got one more to, to struggle to get, you know, him on his goals or get him on track. And we are, he needs to be in life, but two of 'em are pretty doing pretty, you know, self sufficient now, which is again, it's bittersweet cuz as parents, we want to be there, we want to help. We want to do and they just require less and less as they get older and more settled.
Young Han (29:18):
Yeah. And so then you switched the stages to being more of a, more of a relationship, more of like a franchise I should say.
Jenn Cole (29:25):
Yeah. It's definitely a different relationship because now we're more, we're still educating. They're still learning from us because they're just learning about different things. None of them have, you know, until they got to that point had paid rent or paid bills or mm-hmm, <affirmative>, you know, dealt with applying for jobs. These are things that you grow through and you know, even my son, the difference for him is, you know, getting outta high school and looking for a job, he was basically begging people. Okay, you need to hire me. I need a job. I need money. And now that he's got schooling and experiencing, you know, everything under his belt, he goes in with more confidence saying, I've got this, you know, you're gonna wanna hire me. Yeah. This is attitude now. Yeah. so just seeing them go through those stages and being able to help them through the different stages cuz your parenting's, like I said, it's gonna change based on their needs right now where your girls you're doing everything in anything. And as they get older, what you're gonna teach them is gonna be different.
Young Han (30:25):
Yeah, that's right. And I, I, I'm not, I'm not there yet. I don't think, I mean right now at this point, they're, they're very, very open and needing of direction and guidance and kind of like emulating in the copying what I do. And I, I can quickly see Lilly starting to like form emulate her own thoughts though, as she becomes five years old and like starting to question me and so I could already see that the stage will start changing over the next few years where sh you know, she's gonna want to like, you know, be her own person and like start making some of these, you know, personality decisions for herself. But yeah, it's, it's pretty interesting to think about all the progressions of, of your job as a parent navigating these these stages of your kids. What do you think are some of the parallels of par being a good parent and, and being a good entrepreneur,
Jenn Cole (31:15):
You know, I think it looks different for everybody and that's what you have to remember. Not every person is gonna be the same kind of parent because not every person has the same opportunities or, or relationships with their children, or, you know, if you're struggling, I guess it depends on what stage you are in life. When I was divorced and struggling to find a full time job. You know, my relationship with Matt was I'm not here as much, but I'm here for you when I'm here. You know, when I'm not working, I'm here for you because you are what my job is. And now that he's moving out, it's, you know, we are not together all the time, but when you need me, I'm here, it just, you know, your parenting changes like your girls, when they start going to school, they're gonna start working on relationships and friendships and how to navigate all that. So you're gonna be helping them through all that. Whereas now it's, you know, let's learn basic human interaction, you know, it just, so it just, it just fascinates me how it changes so much throughout their lifetime.
Young Han (32:19):
Yeah, no, it really is really exciting thing to talk about. And I think that it's really interesting. I, when I think about it, like with me building my consulting business and like me being a parent, I feel like there's so many things that you can cross over, you know, as it relates to success, right. When you're in business at a macro level, but it's really hard to like transfer some of the mechanical things because of that reason, because the kid is growing so fast, you know, and like within a blink of the eye, they're like doing the next thing or they're outta their out of those clothes and like wanting to hang out with the neighbor's kids versus you. And like, and like there's all these things that keep changing so rapidly. But at a business level, like I feel like there's things though that are very, very simple, like cross, cross over really well. And I definitely wanna make sure my kids learn those concepts, you know, about like determination and motivation and drive and persistence and, and, and creation really like, right. Like having the audacity and the, the fearlessness to actually create something and build something. And, and it's really hard to like, figure that out. And that's one of the biggest thing I'm struggling with right now is like, how do you teach your kid that, like, how do you teach that drive? You know what I mean? Like, cuz they're, they're gonna respond so differently. Yeah.
Jenn Cole (33:29):
I, I think it should do it. I think it's definitely just seeing what you go through. I mean, our kids saw us, you know, four and a half years ago pick up our lives from someplace. We had both lived, my husband and I had lived, you know, not married, but had lived for, you know, almost two decades moved here for a courier opportunity and our lives have just taken off since then. So I, I just think it's seeing them seeing you, I mean, look at you, you picked up and moved from California. And your girls may were some of that. Yeah. Just that you move them, but you they'll learn through you that you move them so that they could have a different style of life. And so you're modeling for them exactly how to live their career, their lives, if you're, you know, and this is not you at all, but if you were timid and, and scared to make changes and scared to jump and you know, those bold moves, they would learn that. But they're gonna learn from you like mine learned from me that it's okay to make big, big jumps. It's okay. To make mistakes while you're doing that. But learn from 'em and keep jumping, keep moving.
Young Han (34:34):
Yeah. I'd say, I mean, learning more about your past has been really interesting too, because it sounds like it hasn't always been rainbows and sunshine sounds like you you're quite a fair share of tribulations.
Jenn Cole (34:43):
Yeah, definitely. And it created challenges, but it also made me a stronger person. You know, there were some things as an adult I had to work through, you know, when your father abandons you at three years old, there were definitely some things that I had to, there were challenging from, you know, relationship perspective, but not even just relationships that affected my work ethic and my not even my ethic, but how I looked at people looking at me because if you know, my, my thought at that point was if my father doesn't want me, who else is really going to want me? So is this friend relat I have, are they really wanting to be my friend? Or are they just here because they are. So it always affected relationships. Until I got to the point where I could emotionally work through that. And I think it affected my work as well, because no matter what good a job I did, I always wanted to do better because do they really think I'm doing a good job? Or, you know, are they just saying that I'm doing a job? It just was, it was a huge self-esteem thing I had to work through.
Young Han (35:52):
Yeah. And, and I'm not saying that's a good thing at all, but like the one silver lining is that that's probably a good indication of like, or not indication, but a, like a pretty good reason or category of reasons of why you're so driven. You're probably like, I mean, remember that one deal we did the other month. And I was just like, afterwards, I'm like, Jen, that was, that was like literally torture, like psychological warfare. That was torture. Yeah. It was, it was one of the worst experiences I've had. I've done some really funky things in business. And that was honestly one of the hardest things I've done in my life, closing that house. And you were like, you were cool as a cucumber.
Jenn Cole (36:33):
You were just like growing a growing thing, you know, because now you've been through a really, really mad one. So let's learn how to make the next ones better.
Young Han (36:42):
Oh yeah. I mean, we're, I mean, yeah. Infinitely, you know, better now. I mean, there's so much better prepared, right? Like we know like every well, I know, I know when I say we, because you're part of my team now amongst other people's teams, but yeah. I mean, we're infinitely more prepared for sure. But it was really in interesting to like, see you persevere through it because like, for most people going through that, like even the other investor that we had on that deal was like, like literally like, holy, like, this is crazy. Like even she was like, what is going on? Like, how are you guys doing this? And you and I were just like, we have to do it. We have to keep going, just have to make the deal close and just like just kept at it and just kept at it. And I was getting a little frazzled, but you were cool as a cucumber. You're like, Nope, we're just gonna go.
Jenn Cole (37:27):
We're just gonna go, you know, I knew I I'll I'll deal with it later. I'll have some cocktails when the deal is done. But at some point, you know, that's, my job is to make sure that all those pieces work together and everybody's stays calm and everybody stays okay. And, you know, smooth out relationships. That's where that social work thing comes in. Yeah. It's make sure that all those cuz you've got tons of different personalities, you've got title, you've got a lender, you've got a seller, you've got a buyer, you know, and It got investors, you got a developer.
Young Han (37:55):
Yeah. Everyone wants to say right. Everyone has an opinion. And every everyone's like, yeah, exactly.
Jenn Cole (38:02):
Some that's not always a great thing, but you just have to work through it.
Young Han (38:05):
That's right. That's right. That was a really good experience. I think
Jenn Cole (38:08):
Some of that deal was, you know, personality traits too that were kind of clashing against each other. And that's another thing that we figured out quickly that you just have to make sure that smoothing over those edges for everybody so that everybody can work together.
Young Han (38:24):
Yeah, exactly. It's really, really interesting that you shared with us that you had social work experience. Cause I think that is very, very advantageous for you during this business. Cause so much of the role is like emo being highly, emotionally intelligent and also being able to like soak it in, you know, just like being able to like take it because the amount of variety of personalities that you need to soak in and then adapt and like, you know, and quite frankly manipulate is, is, is high. It's very, very high. It's a very hard skill. It's a very hard skill. Yeah. And so yeah, I think that it's really cool and I, I just, I bring that story up because I think it's like really interesting that those things can like parlay into this thing so well, and it's just a really fun, fun story to share too. But that being said, I do wanna be mindful of your time. So I do have a couple of questions. I, I don't want to ask every guest, so I'm gonna switch gears a little bit and rapid fire you off. My, my questions. Okay. Okay. What advice do you have for other parents and soon to be parents?
Jenn Cole (39:25):
Just don't compare yourself. Don't compare yourself to the stay at mom, mom that is at home all day long, or don't compare yourself to the mom that works all long. Just make sure that you're looking at your situation. And sometimes we can't spend all the time we want with our children. Sometimes we don't have time to do all the different activities we want to with our children, but make sure when you're there, make sure that time counts. And I see that with you all the time, you and your girls are constantly just doing something and interacting together. And I think everybody's picture looks different. So just make sure you're focusing on your picture and not everyone elses.
Young Han (40:05):
That's really great advice. Not only for other parents, but just like everybody, like really like everybody, right? Like I feel like I even need to take that advice right now. Even not as a parent, you know, and
Jenn Cole (40:17):
Worry about like, Jones's worry about yourself
Young Han (40:19):
That's right. Worry about yourself. Do what's gonna make you happy and, and you know, and satiate your needs. Yeah, exactly. Like you, you it's such good advice. I love that. All right. If you can go back all the way back to before your kids were even born and you could tell yourself one thing what would you tell yourself before having kids?
Jenn Cole (40:38):
Don't forget about yourself, don't forget about your needs and what's gonna make you happy and what's gonna make you fulfilled. I feel like I did that for a very long time. And again, I'm blooming with my career layer in life and I feel like I could have done it earlier if I'd remembered that, remember that any relationship you're in should be an equal partnership, remember that you are always important in any relationship or any activity that you do. And just remember that what you want matters.
Young Han (41:15):
Oh my gosh. That's beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. What is the most surprising thing that you learned about yourself after becoming a parent?
Jenn Cole (41:24):
You know, I always thought the ideal picture from I grew up in the south, so that traditional moms at home dad's working that kind of thing. So for me it was, it was learning again to look at your relationship as its own entity, because, you know, I did stay home with my son for the first five, six years of his life, but then had to shift to a different reality of what it was. And for me learning that, yes, I can be a great mom and I can be a successful mom and I can not spend and 24 hours a day with my child, but still be a good mom and still have a good relationship with my son and raise him to be a good human, you know, which is what we all strive for. So again, just let you know, take your, your situation and make what you want to out of. It just don't compare it to other people's I think is the big thing.
Young Han (42:12):
I love it all. Awesome. And then what is your all time favorite business book?
Jenn Cole (42:18):
Probably Gary Keller, Gary Keller is how to become a millionaire.
Young Han (42:23):
Love it. I've never read it. It was very direct. I, I, I could assume what the, what the book's about based on the time.
Jenn Cole (42:29):
He is the owner of our brokerage and just the way he is gone about things and, and the tips and tricks that he gives you. And again, it's, for me, it's more the bolstering of the self-esteem and the, the process this is to use his books, just, they just speak to the heart of a real estate agent to get you through the tough situations, because there are days we just wanna beat our heads against the wall, like the deal we went through together. Yeah. but on the other hand, when you get through that, the sense of accomplishment we had when that actually closed, you know, and so for him, it's the big thing you learn from him is how to get through that and how to get to the other side. So that's a huge one for me.
Young Han (43:14):
Awesome. That's a great one. I've never, I've never even heard of it. So I'll definitely have to pick that one up. As I try to become, you know, more and more educated and savvy in real estate, I definitely want to keep learning the books that you know, other agents are reading, so never stop Virginia. Yep. Okay. So this one is a new one that I've added. What does Jen do, which she's not being an awesome parent and an awesome entrepreneur. What is, what, what are you doing with your time? What, what do you do for fun and what's your hobby?
Jenn Cole (43:42):
Okay. I'm a huge reader and the majority of my reading is N nothing. That's gonna make me learn. It is let me read a science fiction or a true crime that is gonna take me away from the world for a little while. I'm a reality TV junkie. I know that's terrible. Yeah. you know, the other part of me, and now that business has slowed down a little bit, I'm getting back into is the interior decorating for me, designing a space and, and carrying it out is just, it's absolutely soul soothing. To me. It's just a huge love of my life. So that's what I'm focusing on now. So it depends on, you know, if I have five minutes, if I have an hour, what I'll tackle, but I always have work with me
Young Han (44:30):
Yeah, exactly. And I think you're already doing it in your office, your back, your backdrop looks beautiful. I love it. Yep. Yeah. So definitely definitely adapting and growing every time I talk to you. Yes. very cool. Well, Jen, thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me About parenting and, and your work. I really, really appreciate you spending the time with me. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Yeah. This is fun. It was fun. I'll I'll see. Yeah. I'll see you on another real estate tour. Okay. Yes. Okay. thanks for tuning in to another episode of the girl dad show, we really hope you enjoyed that interview. And as always, please take a moment to review and subscribe. We'll see you next time.
Episode 21 - Jenn Cole - Finding your Passion
Leave a comment